JULY 3, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Decline in Drugstore Sales in 1938. Impact: The decline in drugstore sales led to a nationwide panic that resulted in the invention of the first home pharmacy kits, which eventually spiraled into the current obsession with DIY remedies and questionable health advice online. Thanks, 1938!. Fact: Did you know that people once thought that drugs sold in drugstores could actually cure everything? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Congress Prepares for July 15 Wind-Up. Impact: The ongoing battles in Congress led to the eventual creation of the 'Procrastination Act', designed to give politicians more time to ignore important issues, which somehow is still in effect today.. Fact: Congress was so tired they considered a nap time between sessions. Too bad that idea didn't pass!.
• Headline: Advertising News and Notes; Dole Campaign Is Ready. Impact: The Dole campaign's advertising strategy inadvertently inspired generations of politicians to focus on catchy slogans rather than actual policies, leading us to the 21st-century political landscape.. Fact: Advertising agencies have spent more time on slogans than on understanding the issues at hand. It's like putting lipstick on a pig—only now, it's a campaign bus!.
• Headline: PATRIOTIC SOCIETIES WARNED OF 'FASCISM'; Group Charges Move Is Afoot to Merge Them Under Moseley. Impact: The warning against fascism led to a secret society of patriotic knitters who only knitted in red, white, and blue, inadvertently starting a trend that would dominate American July 4th fashion for decades.. Fact: Knitting was once considered a revolutionary act. Who knew grandma's hobby had such political implications?.
• Headline: GENETICS DECLARED 'CHAINED' TO ERROR; Dr. Goldschmidt Insists the Chromosome, Not the Gene, Is Unit of Heredity CITES OLD ATOM THEORY Biology, Like Physics, Must Revise Basic Views, Stanford Symposium Is Told. Impact: The declaration that genetics was 'chained' to error led to a series of misunderstandings that resulted in a bizarre movement in the '80s advocating for the rights of chromosomes, with rallies and everything.. Fact: Dr. Goldschmidt's theories were so controversial that they inspired a rock band called 'The Chromosomes'—their hit single was 'DNA is my Homeboy'..
• Headline: JOHN FARRS HOSTS AT SOUTHAMPTON; Housewarming Party Attended by Many--Mrs. Joseph R. Dilworth Entertains MISS CUDDIHY HAS GUESTS Gordon Stewarts Fete J. C. MacDonalds--Beach Club Scene of Luncheons. Impact: The extravagant housewarming party at Southampton led to an annual tradition of over-the-top beach parties, where the only requirement was to wear a ridiculous hat. This tradition still haunts summer gatherings.. Fact: Housewarming parties in 1938 were pretty much the precursor to Instagram influencers showing off their overpriced avocado toast. Some things never change!.
• Headline: 'SILVER MUDDLE' DISTURBS LONDON; The City Sees Roosevelt Sacrificing Foreign Market to Appease Bloc in CongressLESS INTEREST IN DOLLARNo Need Found for Devaluationin Present Circumstances--Use of Power Doubted. Impact: The silver muddle in London caused a chain reaction that led to the invention of the phrase 'money makes the world go round', which is now used to justify everything from war to overpriced lattes.. Fact: Londoners have been complaining about monetary issues since the dawn of time. If only they had thought to invest in Bitcoin back then!.
• Headline: BENES BIDS CZECHS GIRD FOR A 'CRISIS'; CELEBRATING CZECHO-SLOVAK DAY HERE. Impact: Benes' call to arms inspired a group of Czech hipsters to start a 'fight for independence' movement that eventually fizzled out into a weekly open mic night discussing existential crises instead.. Fact: Czecho-Slovak Day was initially meant to celebrate independence; now it's just an excuse for everyone to complain about adulting while eating pastries..
• Headline: SCHMELING STOPS HEUSER IN FIRST; 70,000 Watch Former World Champion End Bout in 47 Seconds at Stuttgart ANNEXES EUROPEAN TITLE Max Elated Over His Victory but Plans for Future Are Vague--Open to Offers. Impact: Schmeling's swift victory led to the rise of the 'quick knockout' strategy in boxing, which ironically resulted in more fighters focusing on style over substance—much like modern-day reality TV.. Fact: A mere 47 seconds in the ring can lead to decades of discussions about who truly is the 'greatest of all time'—but no one talks about the guy who lost in less than a minute!.