JUNE 30, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Teenage Shooting Incident in 1939. Impact: That shooting incident led to an unprecedented rise in the popularity of bubble wrap, as kids everywhere thought, 'If I can't pop my friends' bubble, I might as well pop my own!'. Fact: Did you know that the average age of a rifle-wielding teen is 16? No, just kidding, that's horrifying..
• Headline: Historical Insights on Fire Department Operations. Impact: The Fire Department's operation caused a chain reaction that resulted in the invention of the world's first fireproof marshmallow, which was later used in competitive eating contests.. Fact: Fire departments have been operating for centuries, but they still can’t figure out how to get the cat down from the tree..
• Headline: Restoring Silver and Dollar Power. Impact: This vote on money power led to a secret society of economists who now control the price of coffee and can make it rain dollar bills, literally.. Fact: Morgenthau warning people to worry about the dollar is like a toddler warning you about monsters under the bed; cute, but ultimately useless..
• Headline: PUPPET SHOW USED AS PSYCHIATRIC AID; Bellevue Worker Tells How It Helps in the Study of Problem Children. Impact: The use of puppets as psychiatric aids sparked a revolution in therapy, leading to the rise of 'therapy llamas' as the next big thing in mental health!. Fact: Puppets have been used in therapy for years, mostly to distract from the fact that you’re still talking to a sock..
• Headline: SCHOOLS TO REOPEN STUDY OF SEX ISSUE; Committee of City Educators Set Up to Consider Problem of Courses for Children EXPERTS WILL BE HEARD Buck, Reporting 'Unsolicited Opinions' on Subject, Says Most Favor Instruction. Impact: The reopening of sex education courses led to an entire generation becoming overqualified in awkward conversations but underqualified in actual relationships.. Fact: Studies show that the only thing more awkward than sex education classes is trying to have the 'talk' with your parents afterward..
• Headline: BROOKLYN FACTORY SOLD BY CORK FIRM; Wholesale Furniture Concern to Use Williamsburg Plant as Distribution Center APARTMENT IS PURCHASED 24-Suite Building at 271 Parkside Ave. Traded--OtherTransactions in Borough. Impact: The sale of the Brooklyn factory resulted in an urban legend that the furniture was possessed, leading to furniture stores offering 'haunted' discounts.. Fact: Brooklyn is so trendy, even the furniture has a better Instagram following than you do..
• Headline: CITY'S PRINTING BILL HELD $500,000 HIGH; McGoldrick Holds Up Payment --Company Provides Bond. Impact: Withholding the printing bill payment led to a secret underground printing press that printed memes before it was cool. Thanks to that, 'Distracted Boyfriend' was born.. Fact: Printing companies have a long history of drama; it’s like a soap opera, but with more ink..
• Headline: CITY VOTES TO REDUCE REALTY TAX DISCOUNT; Approves Cut From 4 to 2% for any Prepaid Levies. Impact: Reducing the realty tax discount sparked a neighborhood uprising where homeowners started using their gardens as makeshift protest signs. 'We won't be pushed around!'. Fact: Realty taxes are like that annoying relative who shows up uninvited and never leaves; you just can't get rid of them..
• Headline: GLIDER PILOT WINS HONOR; Lieut. Stanley Gets Golden C, Then Crashes in Wheat Field. Impact: Lieut. Stanley's crash after winning an honor led to the creation of a new aviation award: The Golden Wheat, given to pilots who can land in style... or just land.. Fact: Crashing in a wheat field is actually the safest place to crash, unless you’re allergic to gluten..
• Headline: Successor to Spellman Is Consecrated at Boston. Impact: The consecration of Spellman's successor led to a secret competition among clergy to see who could deliver the most dramatic sermons. Spoiler: they all failed.. Fact: Consecrations are just like weddings, but with slightly less cake and far more guilt..