JUNE 28, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Merchants' Golf Tournament at Century Club. Impact: The retail dry goods group’s golf tournament sparked an obsession with golf among merchants, leading to the rise of 'business golf retreats'—because nothing says 'let's seal this deal' like a round of 18. This eventually led to the widespread acceptance of golf as a necessary skill for corporate climbing, which only added to the pressure of being a mediocre player.. Fact: Did you know that while many were practicing their swings, businesses were simultaneously perfecting the art of pretending to care about work-life balance?.
• Headline: C.P. Case's Estate Valued at Nearly $8 Million. Impact: The wealth inherited by C.P. Case's daughters led to the founding of a secret society of wealthy heiresses, who would only meet in extravagant locations and discuss how to spend their trust funds. This elite group inadvertently created a new genre of reality television—'Rich Daughters of the World'.. Fact: Fun fact: Woolworth originally sold five-and-dime items, but apparently, the concept of frugality is lost on the next generation..
• Headline: Dollar Devaluation Law from 1895. Impact: The retention of this law led to a series of economically disastrous decisions that would ripple through the decades, culminating in future generations' confusion over the value of a dollar. It also inspired conspiracy theorists to claim that the dollar was actually a sentient entity just waiting to be devalued at the right moment.. Fact: Did you know that whenever someone mentions devaluation, economists start sweating like they're in a sauna? It’s a hot topic!.
• Headline: 5,000 IN PROTEST ON SCHOOL CUTS; Rally Asks Legislature to Restore $9,700,000 Slash in Aid to Education MANY GROUPS JOIN PLEA City Also Requested to Make Available Funds From Less Urgent Purposes. Impact: This protest ignited a nationwide movement for educational funding, which eventually led to the creation of bake sales and car washes as the primary methods of fundraising for schools. Who knew cookies could save a child's future?. Fact: Did you know that education funding cuts have been around longer than some politicians’ careers? Maybe they should take a class on how to manage a budget!.
• Headline: SEES DEFENSE HIT; President Says Senate Action Might Weaken Our Foreign Trade FEARS SPECULATOR RAIDS Private Money Control Cost Public Millions, He Asserts-- Criticizes Newspapers. Impact: The president’s criticisms of the Senate and media set off a chain reaction of distrust in political institutions, which ultimately led to the rise of conspiracy theorists who believed that newspapers were secretly run by aliens. This threw the entire journalism field into chaos—thanks for nothing, Mr. President.. Fact: Fun fact: Criticizing the press is like poking a bear; it tends to end in chaos and a lot of loud screaming..
• Headline: TUFTS FLAG RAISED TO MARK ITS DAY; Alumni Hold Ceremonies and Hear Educational System in America Praised FOUNDERS' VISION LAUDED McMahon Says Foresight Gave Many Colleges to Country-- Dr. Carmichael Speaks. Impact: The ceremony led to a bizarre trend of flag-raising days at colleges across the nation, which eventually devolved into a competition over which school could create the most ridiculous traditions. Every school now has a quirky flag-raising ritual, proving that all it takes is one celebration to start a never-ending cycle of absurdity.. Fact: Did you know that every time a college flag is raised, a hipster somewhere starts a blog about it? Welcome to the modern educational experience!.
• Headline: HINES PLEA DELAYS CAPSHAW HEARING; Case Off Until Fall, Since a Decision Might Impair Appeal. Impact: The delay in the Capshaw hearing produced a ripple effect that caused lawyers everywhere to realize that delaying justice was a lucrative business model. It’s been the inspiration for countless sitcoms depicting the absurdity of the legal system.. Fact: Did you know that the legal system is like a slow-moving train? It might get there eventually, but you’ll probably have to wait a while—and hope it doesn’t derail..
• Headline: NEW AIR TRIUMPH REPORTED IN TOKYO; 120 Mongol Planes Shot Down This Time, Say Dispatches --Loss of 3 Admitted TOTAL CLAIM EXCEEDS 250 Moscow Report of Same Battle Lists 7 Japanese Craft and 6 Mongol as Casualties. Impact: This air triumph changed the course of military strategy and created a legacy of air superiority that would influence every future military engagement. It also led to the creation of countless video games glorifying aerial dogfights, proving that war and gaming go hand in hand.. Fact: Did you know that for every airplane shot down, there’s a 95% chance a new video game is being developed about it? Talk about turning tragedy into entertainment!.
• Headline: CAPITAL HONORS OLAV; Norway's Crown Prince and Wife Welcomed by Secretary Hull. Impact: This royal welcome kickstarted a trend of over-the-top royal receptions, which eventually led to the invention of the 'celebrity welcome committee'—because why should only royalty get the red carpet treatment?. Fact: Did you know that when it comes to royal visits, the number of flags on display is directly proportional to the amount of awkward small talk that will occur? Welcome to diplomacy!.