JUNE 24, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dictaphone Contest Winners Announced. Impact: The Dictaphone contest winners set a precedent, leading to the establishment of the annual 'Best Voice' awards, where only those who can perfectly imitate a fax machine are celebrated.. Fact: Fun fact: Dictaphones were the original voice assistants before they were replaced by smartphones, which were much better at ignoring you..
• Headline: New Playgrounds Unveiled in Manhattan. Impact: The opening of new playgrounds led to a sudden increase in childhood obesity rates, causing future generations to reminisce about the 'great outdoor adventures' of their ancestors. Spoiler: they mostly involved sitting on swings.. Fact: Did you know that the first playground ever built was actually a medieval torture device? Just kidding, but it did involve a lot of wood chips and splinters..
• Headline: HALIFAX REPORTED AS WARNING REICH; 'If You Want War You Can Have War,' Is Message He Sends to Ribbentrop in Berlin HALIFAX REPORTED AS WARNING REICH Reichenau Recently in London. Impact: Halifax's warning was the butterfly that flapped its wings and ultimately led to the invention of the phrase 'You don't want to see me angry,' which has been used by politicians ever since.. Fact: Fun fact: 'If you want war, you can have war' is also the slogan for a very exclusive club in 2040 for disgruntled former diplomats..
• Headline: NLRB DENIES BIAS CHARGED BY A.F.I; Fahy, Before Senate Group, Says Records of Cases Prove Green Is 'Misinformed' EDISON CASE IS RECALLED Had the A.F.L. Been Upheld There in All Workers Would Have Lost, He Insists. Impact: The denial of bias by the NLRB led to a ripple effect that resulted in the creation of 'The Institute of Misunderstood Union Leaders,' where they hold meetings to discuss the pains of being underappreciated.. Fact: Did you know that the EDISON case was actually about a light bulb that refused to turn on during heated debates? A shocking development!.
• Headline: FOREST HILLS HOST TO 300 WPA WORKERS; Gives Luncheon to Men for Speed in Widening Street. Impact: The WPA workers’ luncheon became a national phenomenon, leading to the establishment of 'Luncheon Diplomacy,' where lunch breaks were treated as serious negotiations.. Fact: Fun fact: The original purpose of the WPA was to ensure that no worker ever had to eat a dry sandwich again. You're welcome..
• Headline: MILK DRIVERS SEEK UNIFORM CONTRACT; Representatives of 3 Locals and the Distributors Hold All-Day Conference WAGE INCREASES ASKED Employers Assert to Grant Demands Would Increase Milk Price $20,000,000 Yearly-- Union Demands Assailed Present Contracts Similar. Impact: The milk drivers' quest for a uniform contract eventually led to the rise of 'Milk Wars' in the future, where dairy corporations battled it out over who could deliver the most lactose with the least pricing.. Fact: Did you know that milk once had a fan club? It was called 'The Milky Way Society,' and they met monthly to discuss the merits of calcium..
• Headline: BOOK NOTES. Impact: The 'Book Notes' column inspired countless readers to write their own bestsellers, inadvertently creating a genre of 'Books That Shouldn't Exist' that continues to plague libraries to this day.. Fact: Fun fact: The first bestseller was actually a cookbook that only contained recipes for boiling water. It was a real page-turner!.
• Headline: NEW INSURANCE TO PAY DOCTOR BILL; $12 to $24 a Year to Give $150 to $300 Service to Patient Each Year 16,000 PHYSICIANS BACK IT Plan Modeled After 3-Centsa-Day System Protecting1,400,000 in State Now. Impact: The new insurance plan to pay doctor bills sparked a revolution in healthcare, eventually leading to the bizarre trend of getting insurance for everything, including your morning coffee.. Fact: Did you know that the original model for this insurance plan was based on a bet that a doctor could cure hiccups? They lost, but the money was still good!.