MAY 20, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bus Accident at Harlam Hospital. Impact: The bus wreck, while unfortunate, led to a series of overly cautious safety regulations that ultimately resulted in the invention of the world's slowest bus. Passengers now arrive at their destinations with a side of existential dread. Fact: Did you know that ‘locked brakes’ were actually the name of a failed rock band in the '70s? Their big hit was ‘Stop! Don’t Move!’.
• Headline: Europe Confronts War-Induced Bargains. Impact: The fears surrounding war led to an increase in paranoia, which eventually gave rise to reality TV. It turns out, nothing screams 'peaceful living' like watching people argue over a sandwich on television. Fact: A.O. McCormick was so preoccupied with American problems that he once tried to negotiate peace between his cat and dog. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well.
• Headline: VITAMIN K IS USED FOR COAGULATION; Prevention of Hemorrhages in Surgery on Jaundiced Patients Is Reported to Doctors OPERATIVE RISK REDUCED Substance, Normal in Body, Found in Plants, Starts Chain Forming Thrombin in Blood. Impact: The discovery of Vitamin K for coagulation was a game changer in surgery! It inspired a whole generation of doctors who thought they could just sprinkle some vitamins on everything, including their morning toast. Fact: Vitamin K is actually found in leafy greens. So, if you’re ever in need of blood coagulation, just remember: spinach is your best friend!.
• Headline: GUILTY IN BAD-MONEY PLOT; Three of Eleven in Indicted Ring Are Convicted. Impact: The bad-money plot conviction led to a crackdown on financial crimes, which in turn led to the birth of countless conspiracy theories about the true value of Monopoly money. Spoiler: it’s worth exactly nothing. Fact: Three out of eleven isn’t exactly a glowing success rate. It’s like saying your favorite bakery only burns three out of every eleven cakes. Still, we keep going back!.
• Headline: OUR ARCTIC COMMUTER. Impact: The Arctic commuter concept, if it had taken off, would have made the North Pole the hottest vacation destination. Who wouldn’t want to take a train through a blizzard just to see Santa?. Fact: Ed was really excited about that trip. Little did he know, the Arctic was just the original version of ‘Winter Wonderland’ – minus the hot cocoa.
• Headline: SCREEN NEWS HERE AND IN HOLLYWOOD; Madeleine Carroll to Be Seen in Feature Role in 'Safari' at Paramount Studio 'BLIND ALLEY' HERE TODAY Morris, Bellamy, Ann Dvorak in the Globe Feature--New Swedish Comedy Tomorrow. Impact: Hollywood screen news has had a profound effect on public opinion regarding film. If it weren’t for that, we might still be watching silent films and reading subtitles like it’s 1920. Fact: Madeline Carroll was a star long before the internet, which meant rumors about her could only spread through gossip, not Twitter. Imagine the restraint!.
• Headline: To Recall 1,300 Rail Workers. Impact: Recalling railroad workers led to a brief period where trains ran on time, which eventually caused a national crisis when people realized they actually had to be somewhere on time. Fact: 1,300 workers might seem like a lot, but it's only about half the amount of people who will complain when their train is late. Priorities, people!.
• Headline: East Drive Bids Opened. Impact: The opening of bids for East Drive led to a construction boom, turning the area into a bustling metropolis. Now, it’s a place where you can pay $10 for a coffee and still feel like you got a deal. Fact: Bids are basically just the adult version of ‘who can shout the loudest’ at an auction. Spoiler alert: it’s usually the one with the most money.
• Headline: Kentucky Guards Border to Bar Communists Reported Heading for Harlan Strife Area. Impact: Guarding the border against Communists became a trend that eventually led to a series of misunderstandings and a lot of awkward BBQs where no one talked about politics. Fact: Harlan Strife Area sounds like an intense video game level. 'Defeat the Communists and save BBQ!'.