MAY 17, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Presidential Standoff Over Harlan Miners. Impact: The refusal of the president to intervene in Harlan County led to a chain reaction of labor disputes across the nation, ultimately resulting in the invention of the coffee break—because workers needed to recharge while negotiating their rights.. Fact: Did you know that the 'Harlan County War' wasn't really a war? More like an extended argument over who gets the last donut in the break room..
• Headline: Decline in German Language Enrollment. Impact: The dramatic drop in interest in German led to a spike in the popularity of French, which in turn caused an entire generation to mispronounce 'croissant' for decades. Bon appétit!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than language trends in schools is trying to decipher the French menu at a fancy restaurant..
• Headline: Physicians Wives League Annual Benefit Luncheon. Impact: This luncheon for doctors' wives not only aided the needy but also birthed the concept of potluck dinners, where everyone pretends they enjoy Aunt Marge's mystery casserole.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for these luncheons was to find out who makes the best deviled eggs? The stakes are higher than you'd think..
• Headline: Pope Receives Nuncio to Italy. Impact: The Pope receiving the nuncio may have seemed like a typical day in Vatican City, but it set off a series of events leading to the creation of an entire sub-genre of fan fiction involving papal characters. You can't make this stuff up.. Fact: Did you know that 'nuncio' is just a fancy word for 'messenger'? So basically, the Pope was just sending a really important email..
• Headline: N.Y.U. to Open Exhibit Today. Impact: The opening of an alumni exhibit led to a renaissance of architectural appreciation, culminating in countless 'influencers' posing in front of buildings and pretending to understand the difference between modernism and postmodernism.. Fact: Did you know that architecture students are the only people who can spend hours discussing buildings and still not have anywhere to live?.
• Headline: DAWYDOFF NOT A PRINCE; He Testifies He Never Passed Himself Off as One. Impact: The revelation that Dawydoff was not a prince caused a minor scandal that rippled through the aristocratic circles, ultimately resulting in a new reality TV show: 'Who Wants to Be a Faux Prince?'. Fact: Did you know that claiming royal lineage is basically the medieval version of playing pretend? Some people just never grow up..
• Headline: Hull, Denying 'Addiction to Secrecy,' Says Telling All Would Alienate Half the World. Impact: Hull's denial of 'addiction to secrecy' led to a new era of political transparency—oh wait, just kidding! It made everyone even better at hiding things behind closed doors.. Fact: Did you know that if you think government officials are secretive now, you should have seen them in the days before social media? At least now they have to pretend to be honest..
• Headline: CROAT ISSUE HITS SOCCER; Region Threatens to Withdraw Men From Game With England. Impact: The Croat soccer issue somehow led to an international debate on ethnic recognition, which in turn inspired the creation of a new world sport where everyone just sits around discussing their grievances—it's called 'Diplomatic Football.'. Fact: Did you know that soccer has the power to unite—or divide—like nothing else? Just ask any group of friends trying to agree on a restaurant for dinner..