APRIL 13, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Art in Subway: A Call for Murals. Impact: If those subway murals had been painted, we might have witnessed a global art renaissance that would have led to the invention of the 'Subway Art Movement'—yes, that’s right, a world where graffiti artists are revered like Michelangelo. Trains would be mobile galleries and commuters would be art critics. You can thank the Transit Body for their indecisiveness.. Fact: Did you know that this public hearing was likely the most exciting thing to happen in a subway station since someone finally put an end to those awful saxophone buskers?.
• Headline: Franco's Troop Movements to Morocco. Impact: If Franco had sent troops to Morocco, it could have sparked a chain reaction of territorial disputes that might have led to a totally different North African landscape. Imagine if we had today’s Morocco as the next great European vacation spot, complete with tapas and flamenco dancers instead of camels!. Fact: Did you know Franco’s ability to deny plans is second only to your friend who swears they’ll be on time but shows up an hour late?.
• Headline: Cuban Radio Censorship in 1939. Impact: By suppressing radio criticism, Cuba inadvertently set the stage for the rise of underground music, which eventually led to the global phenomenon of protest songs. Who knew that censorship would inspire a generation of rebellious tunes instead of silencing them?. Fact: Did you know that this move was probably as popular as a karaoke night at a funeral?.
• Headline: RUMANIANS CHARGE HUNGARY MENACES; Press in Vigorous Attacks Says Troop Concentrations on Border Retard Accord GAFENCU SETS BERLIN TRIP Bucharest Foreign Minister to Start on Sunday--Budapest Suspends Nazi Paper. Impact: The accusations of menace between Romania and Hungary could have led to a full-blown 'border dispute soap opera' that would have captured the hearts of viewers for decades. Tune in next week for 'As the Borders Turn'!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more dramatic than international relations in Eastern Europe is a family reunion?.
• Headline: Historio Site to Become Park. Impact: When the historio site became a park, it paved the way for future generations to lounge where great battles once took place. Just think, kids playing tag on the very grounds where soldiers once strategized—how's that for irony?. Fact: Did you know that parks are just history’s way of saying, 'I hope you enjoy this serene setting while forgetting all the chaos that took place here'?.
• Headline: ZIONIST HEAD SEES TYRANTS' FAILURE; Jews Will Survive Long After Dictators Have Met Doom, Says Dr. Goldman CALLS MUSSOLINI 'COWARD' He Tells Hadassah Group That a Real Homeland Now Is Existing in Palestine. Impact: Dr. Goldman’s confidence in Jewish survival could have inspired an entire series of motivational speeches that transcended borders, leading to a global movement we now call 'Survivalism 101'. Who knew optimism could be so contagious?. Fact: Did you know that calling Mussolini a coward is like calling a cat lazy? It’s just stating the obvious!.
• Headline: 15,000 UNION MEN TO MARCH AT FAIR; GIRL GUIDES REPORT AT THE WORLD'S FAIR--PREVIEW OF GLASS CENTER IS HELD. Impact: With 15,000 union men marching at the fair, it could have initiated a new trend of labor-themed entertainment, possibly resulting in a reality show called 'The Real Workers of New York', where every episode ends with a labor dispute.. Fact: Did you know that union marches are basically the original flash mobs, only with more plaid shirts and fewer dance moves?.
• Headline: U.S. GROUP NAMED FOR CZECH PAVILION; La Guardis Says Opening of $1,000,000 Project at Fair Now Is Assured. Impact: The naming of a U.S. group for the Czech pavilion could have inadvertently sparked a wave of cultural exchange programs. Who knows, we could have been sipping on Czech beer while listening to American jazz in Prague by now!. Fact: Did you know that this pavilion is basically the international version of a potluck, where everyone brings their best dish, hoping no one shows up with fruitcake?.
• Headline: Glasgow Rules Games Do Not Mix With Drinks. Impact: Glasgow ruling that games don't mix with drinks may have inadvertently led to the world's first sober sports league—imagine athletes playing with a clear head! The horror!. Fact: Did you know that this ruling probably made pub owners weep into their pints, fearing a future without boisterous game nights?.