MARCH 29, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Russians Abandon Anti-Reich Hopes. Impact: This despair in Russia led to a series of events that eventually resulted in a rather unhelpful alliance with the Allies, causing quite a few headaches in the 1940s. Who knew losing hope could lead to more global conflict?. Fact: The Russians' hope for an anti-German front was as reliable as a weather forecast in England—always a chance of rain..
• Headline: Confessional Church Targeted in Germany. Impact: The German Council's crackdown on the Confessional Church not only paralyzed opposition but also ignited a firestorm of resistance that would make any superhero movie jealous. Who knew that suppressing dissent could lead to a rise in underground movements?. Fact: The Confessional Church wasn't just a group of churchgoers; they were basically the original rebels with a cause—like a biblical version of the Avengers..
• Headline: Bond Men Discount Ruling on Salaries. Impact: This ruling might have seemed boring at the time, but it set a precedent that would allow tax-exempt securities to flourish, leading to the rise of more Wall Street shenanigans. Cheers for financial loopholes!. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, bond men are basically the equivalent of modern-day coupon clippers, just with more complicated math and a less exciting life..
• Headline: OTHER MUSIC; Povla Frijsh Gives Recital. Impact: Povla Frijsh’s recital might have seemed like just another night of music, but little did the audience know that the appreciation of classical music would later inspire countless movie soundtracks. Thank you, Povla!. Fact: Attending recitals is like time travel for your ears; you’re basically listening to the past while pretending to be cultured..
• Headline: Bombs Damage Historic Span Over Thames After 9 Get Prison Terms in Other Blasts. Impact: The bombing of the historic Thames span led to stricter security measures, which somehow resulted in the rise of British pub culture—because nothing says 'we're safe' like a pint in a cozy pub!. Fact: Bombing historic landmarks is a surefire way to make sure that nobody ever forgets you—just not the kind of legacy anyone wants..
• Headline: Nazi Organ Bids Britain Join With Germany To 'Dictate the Peace of the Entire World'. Impact: The Nazi organ's call for Britain to join in dictating world peace was about as effective as asking cats to herd sheep. It did, however, make for some awkward diplomatic dinners.. Fact: When Nazis ask for cooperation, it’s usually followed by a very loud 'No thanks!' from the rest of the world..
• Headline: Soprano Arrives From Lima. Impact: The arrival of this soprano from Lima helped to bridge musical cultures, eventually leading to a bizarre fusion genre that would confuse future generations. Thanks a lot, musical evolution!. Fact: Sopranos are like the high-flying acrobats of the music world—always hitting those high notes while the rest of us are just trying to stay in tune..
• Headline: PEACE IS WELCOME TO LOSERS IN SPAIN; War-Weary, Hungry People of Republican Area Feel Reds Sold Them Out SOVIET AID ON CASH BASIS Foreign Technicians Isolated --Valencia's Libraries Filled With Russian Books Russia's Aid Discussed Russian Influence Visible Amusements Still Available Guards American Lives. Impact: The war-weary folks in Spain feeling sold out by the Reds set off a series of events that would make future political betrayals seem like child's play. Nothing like a bit of betrayal to spice up history!. Fact: When your library is filled with Russian books, it’s a sure sign that you’ve gone from a book club to a political movement faster than you can say 'Bolshevik.'.
• Headline: UTILITIES ASSAILED, DEFENDED ON TAXES; FPC Gives Data Purporting to Show Higher Payments by Municipal Plants FIGURES ARE CHALLENGED Head of Edison Institute Says Private Units Are Subject to Stipulated Levies. Impact: The debate over utility taxes made headlines, but it was really just a precursor to the endless arguments over bills and fees that plague society to this day. Thanks for laying the groundwork for modern-day grumbling!. Fact: Utility debates are basically the adult version of playground squabbles over the swings—everyone wants their fair share, and no one leaves happy..
• Headline: ASKS BAN ON NAVY WHIPS; British Admiralty Urges End of Flogging of Sailors. Impact: The British Admiralty's push to end flogging was a revolutionary step toward humane treatment of sailors, eventually leading to the modern Navy's focus on mental health. Who knew that kindness could set sail?. Fact: Ending flogging in the Navy was like deciding to stop using wooden spoons for cooking—long overdue and definitely a step in the right direction..