MARCH 13, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: First Lady Clarifies Her Role. Impact: If only Mrs. Roosevelt had actually been the boss, we might have had a 'First Lady's Day' instead of Presidents' Day. Imagine the chaos of a national holiday dedicated to excessive tea parties and garden planning!. Fact: Fun fact: The First Lady's role is often like being the President's unpaid intern—expected to have all the answers but never really in charge..
• Headline: Cornell Solves Dynamo Problem. Impact: The discovery of a dynamo balance led to the invention of more efficient energy sources, which in turn led to the rise of the modern tech industry. So yes, thank you, Cornell, for enabling our addiction to smartphones!. Fact: Did you know that if Faraday had solved this himself, we might have skipped a century of awkward electrical engineering conferences?.
• Headline: George Fife: Acclaimed Newspaper Veteran. Impact: George Fife's death meant the loss of a voice that covered the tumultuous events of war and peace. His writings may have inspired future journalists to pick up the pen—or a sarcastic tweet.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more tragic than a great journalist passing is the number of people who think that their social media posts are journalism..
• Headline: Fellow Romans and Dignitaries Of 40 Countries Hail New Pope; Romans Acclaim Son of Their City as He Is Crowned Pope at Church of St. Peter's. Impact: The coronation of a new pope is always a big deal, but this one sparked a series of papal tweets that changed the way we perceive the Church. Who knew the Holy See could go viral?. Fact: Did you know that the Vatican has a secret Twitter account? Just kidding, it's probably just a bunch of holy memes..
• Headline: Labor Dispute Delays Opera. Impact: The opera delay due to labor disputes shows how the arts are often at the mercy of capitalism. This led to a generation of frustrated artists who decided to express their rage through avant-garde performances nobody understood.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes labor disputes can lead to the creation of masterpieces? Or they can just lead to a lot of angry patrons wanting their money back..
• Headline: Miss Blanche Roeg Engaged. Impact: Miss Blanche Roeg's engagement might seem trivial, but it could have inspired countless romantic comedies in the years that followed, filled with misunderstandings and quirky side characters.. Fact: Fun fact: Engagement announcements have been the original clickbait for centuries—who knew love could be so profitable?.
• Headline: BEATEN IN PHILADELPHIA; New York Hotel Man Is Left Unconscious by Robbers. Impact: The mugging of a hotel man in Philadelphia likely led to a crackdown on crime in the area, or at least a lot of really bad hotel security measures. Thanks for nothing, robbers!. Fact: Fun fact: Security measures in hotels have evolved so much that now even the robbers have to check in at the front desk..
• Headline: Tomb of George V Is Dedicated. Impact: The dedication of George V's tomb marked not just a royal farewell but also solidified the monarchy's place in history, ensuring that future generations would have to endure endless documentaries about royal shenanigans.. Fact: Did you know that dedicating tombs is basically the ancient version of getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Because nothing says 'you made it' like being buried in style..