MARCH 9, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Prospective Chungking-Hanoi Air Route. Impact: The surveys for the Chungking-Hanoi Air Line led to a series of unfortunate flight routes that inadvertently inspired a future generation of aviation engineers to create the 'Flight of the Bumblebee' protocol, ensuring that planes would never fly in a straight line. Thanks, air travel!. Fact: Did you know that the first airline was founded in 1914? It was not as glamorous as it sounds; it was just a dude with a biplane and a really long to-do list.
• Headline: COMBATS JEWISH TRADERS; Costa Rican Merchant Group Formed to Fight Immigrants. Impact: The formation of a Costa Rican merchant group to combat Jewish immigrants set off a chain reaction of xenophobia that made its way to social media hashtags in the 21st century. Who knew history could repeat itself in 280 characters or less?. Fact: Did you know that xenophobia has been around since the dawn of time? It's like humanity's worst habit that just won't quit, kind of like biting your nails.
• Headline: PRIEST IS SUSPENDED; Nicaragua Bishop Finds Miracles He Reported Were Illusions. Impact: The suspension of Rev F Villanueva for reporting illusions on miracles led to a surge in skepticism about religion, paving the way for future generations to debate over whether or not the Chicken or the Egg came first. Spoiler: It was the Chicken, obviously. Fact: Did you know that the Catholic Church has a long history of suspending priests? It's like their own version of a 'time-out' but with a much higher stakes.
• Headline: JAPANESE RAIDERS STRIKE AT ICHANG; Crowded Yangtze City Bombed, Heavy Loss Is Feared-- Hupeh Drive Stopped CHINESE REPORT VICTORY Invading Planes Push Far Into Interior to Attack Supply Highway at Yungchang. Impact: The bombing of Ichang by Japanese raiders ensured that the phrase 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket' was taken to heart by future military strategists. Remember, always have a backup plan!. Fact: Did you know that the Yangtze River is the longest river in Asia? And yet, it still doesn’t have a 'best river' award. Talk about being underappreciated!.
• Headline: MRS. WILLIAM CUMMING; As Rose Stella She Sang Opera Roles Here and Abroad. Impact: Rose Stella's opera career inspired countless aspiring singers to chase after fame, leading to the invention of karaoke bars where everyone thinks they sound like her after a few drinks. Thanks, Rose, for the global embarrassment!. Fact: Did you know that opera singers train for years to hone their craft? Meanwhile, karaoke enthusiasts think a few shots of tequila will do the trick. Spoiler: it usually doesn't.
• Headline: GIBSON GIRL VOGUE SEEN AT STYLE SHOW; Contemporary Fashions Lined Up Against Those of the '90's. Impact: The Gibson Girl Vogue style show became the blueprint for modern fashion weeks, where designers showcase their latest collections while everyone pretends to understand high fashion. The legacy of confusion continues!. Fact: Did you know that 'Gibson Girl' was a cultural icon in the early 1900s? Apparently, she was the original influencer, long before Instagram existed!.
• Headline: THE PLAY IN REVIEW; Judith Anderson Appearing in 'Family Portrait,' the Story of a Religious Prophet Without Honor Among His Own Kin and at Home. Impact: The play 'Family Portrait,' about a prophet without honor, led to a rise in family therapy sessions in the 21st century, as people sought to avoid becoming the next 'prophet' in their own family drama. Fact: Did you know that family dramas have been around since the dawn of time? It’s basically the original soap opera, with fewer commercial breaks and more awkward Thanksgiving dinners.