JANUARY 23, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tea to Honor World's Fair Officials. Impact: The tea party sparked a national movement for formal events, leading to the proliferation of awkward social gatherings throughout history. Imagine the horror of future generations having to endure yet another 'networking' event.. Fact: Did you know that tea parties were once a revolutionary act? Now they’re just a way to avoid adulting and sip lukewarm water while discussing the weather..
• Headline: MRS. HENRY C. KING; Her Late Husband Was Oberlin College President 25 Years. Impact: Mrs. King's legacy of being the widow of a college president led to a long line of first ladies of universities who would forever be known as 'just the wife.'. Fact: Did you know that being a college president's spouse is basically a full-time job? Welcome to the world of social events, fundraisers, and wearing pearls..
• Headline: YUGOSLAVIA TO SIGN PACT WITH HUNGARY; Swings Closer to Rome End of Axis and Expects Credit Facilities From Italy Condition Dropped YUGOSLAVIA TO SIGN PACT WITH HUNGARY Rome Is Satisfied. Impact: This pact led to a series of unfortunate alliances, making future history textbooks read like a soap opera featuring betrayal, drama, and a few too many 'whoops' moments.. Fact: Did you know that signing treaties is a lot like dating? Sometimes you think you’re making a great match, and then it turns out to be a total disaster..
• Headline: MARSHALL GAINS POINT; Beats Schlesinger in 30 Moves in Club Chess Tourney. Impact: Marshall's victory inspired countless chess enthusiasts to take up the game, resulting in an explosion of nerdy tournaments—who knew chess could be a gateway to social isolation?. Fact: Did you know that chess is basically a battle between two armies? Which makes losing to your grandma at the kitchen table feel like a crushing defeat..
• Headline: Two WPA Theatre Concerts. Impact: These concerts led to an unexpected rise in public appreciation for the arts, inspiring future generations to spend exorbitant amounts on overpriced theater tickets. Thanks, WPA!. Fact: Did you know that WPA stands for 'We Pay Artists'? Just kidding, it’s actually the Works Progress Administration, but wouldn't it be nice if it did?.
• Headline: Astronomers Trace Crab Nebula To Mighty Explosion of a Star; Evidence Gathered From Five Nations-- Cluster Is Expanding Rapidly and a New Blast May Occur Soon. Impact: The Crab Nebula's explosive history has since inspired countless sci-fi movies, leading to a cultural obsession with space explosions that still has us looking up in awe—and confusion.. Fact: Did you know that the Crab Nebula is like the universe's way of saying 'Oops!' after a star exploded? Talk about a dramatic exit!.
• Headline: FRED O. SMITH, 62, OF WILKES-BARRE; Banker and Iron Works Official Is Stricken Suddenly. Impact: Fred O. Smith's untimely passing serves as a reminder that life can be unpredictable, and may have sparked a wave of people considering their mortality—leading to an uptick in insurance policies.. Fact: Did you know that being a banker and an iron works official sounds like a great way to have a heart attack? Talk about a stressful combination!.
• Headline: TRIBUTE TO HOLLANDER; 1,500 Attend Dinner Honoring B'rith Abraham Officer. Impact: The large turnout for this tribute set a precedent for future honor dinners, where it became essential to serve dry chicken and awkward speeches that would be remembered for their mediocrity.. Fact: Did you know that attending a tribute dinner can be a mix of fun and torture? It's like a wedding without the dance floor and with more speeches!.