JANUARY 19, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sutherland's Contempt Ruling in 1939. Impact: Sutherland's refusal to answer certain questions sparked a movement among lawyers to create a 'Silence is Golden' club, encouraging future lawyers to dodge questions and still bill clients by the hour. This would eventually lead to the invention of the phrase 'I plead the fifth' becoming a popular party trick. Fact: Fun fact: The first contempt suit in history involved a cat and a very persistent dog. The dog never got answers, and the cat never went to court.
• Headline: City Again Accuses J.A. Ruddy; Charges He Took 'Job-Fixing' Fees; Herlands Asserts Athlete, Named in 1935 by Blanshard, Kept Up Activities Even During Inquiry--Electrician Held as Aide. Impact: J.A. Ruddy’s charges of job-fixing became the catalyst for an entire genre of crime novels and movies, where every protagonist had a friend named 'Ruddy' who always had a scheme up his sleeve. This would eventually lead to a cinematic universe where job-fixing is somehow the most glamorous profession. Fact: Fun fact: The first job fixer in history was actually a magician who could pull jobs out of thin air—too bad he only used his powers for good.
• Headline: MARSHALL URGES AID FOR IDLE YOUTH; Fears Grave Political Unrest Unless Communities Provide for Jobless Graduates ASKS EXTRA SCHOOL YEARS Industry and Labor Must Join In Attack on Problem, He Warns Kiwanis Group. Impact: Marshall's plea for aid to idle youth triggered a nationwide trend of community gardening, where unemployed graduates were taught to grow tomatoes instead of resumes. It turns out, growing food was much easier than growing their career prospects. Fact: Did you know that tomatoes were considered unfit for human consumption until the 19th century? Good thing no one listened to the naysayers back then!.
• Headline: Leaves $150,000 to Harvard. Impact: Mrs. Jewett's generous bequest to Harvard led to an unexpected chain reaction of other wealthy alumni leaving money for obscure departments, ultimately resulting in the establishment of a 'Department of Unnecessary Studies'. Future students would major in things like 'The Cultural Significance of Sandwiches'. Fact: Ironically, the first sandwich was made by someone too lazy to use a plate. So, you could say it was a groundbreaking moment in culinary history!.
• Headline: Bill Asks Wisconsin Wage Law. Impact: The Wisconsin wage law proposal sparked a nationwide debate over minimum wage that would eventually lead to the invention of the 'Wage Warrior' action figure, who fights for fair pay and is known to battle inflation with a sidekick named 'Cost of Living'. Fact: Did you know that the first minimum wage was set at a rate that could buy you a cup of coffee? Now it barely buys you a sip!.
• Headline: TAXPAYER GROUPS TO UNITE IN STATE; Westchester Association Takes Initiative to Perfect a New York Organization CUT IN BUDGET AN AIM Purpose Will Be a Scientific Approach to 'Fact Finding, Not Fault Finding'. Impact: The formation of taxpayer groups in New York led to a bizarre trend where taxpayers began electing cats as their representatives, believing they could do a better job at managing finances. This resulted in a cat being elected mayor, proving once and for all that sometimes, the fluffier the candidate, the better the governance. Fact: Fun fact: The first cat to run for office was actually a stray who campaigned on a platform of 'more naps and fewer taxes.'.
• Headline: CIVIC AWARDS GIVEN TO BOROUGH LEADERS; 4 Men and a Woman Selected for Outstanding Work in 1938. Impact: The push to fortify Guam ended up creating an entire subculture of island dwellers who believed they were the last bastion of civilization, leading them to form a reality show titled 'Survivors of Guam'. This show would later influence numerous survival-themed media, proving that sometimes the best defense is a good camera crew. Fact: Did you know that Guam is known as the 'Gateway to the Pacific'? Though if you ask the locals, they might say it's just a really nice place to avoid doing anything!.
• Headline: PRESIDENT BACKS FORTIFYING GUAM; Approves Bill Providing Defense Base Chain From Alaska to Rhode Island for Navy.