JANUARY 15, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Japanese Expert Evaluates Global Aircraft Competitiveness. Impact: This prompted a secret pact between the UK and Germany to create a time-traveling fighter jet. They still haven't figured out how to land it, though.. Fact: Fun fact: The only 'war plane' that ever really took off was the one that tried to escape the drama of international politics!.
• Headline: RETRACTABLE WING DEVISED FOR PLANE; Auxiliary Device Used by Fairey for Landings and Take-Offs. Impact: This innovation triggered a bizarre trend of retractable everything— shoes, umbrellas, and even friendships. We're still waiting on retractable politicians.. Fact: Imagine if people could retract their opinions as easily as wings. Politics would be a whole lot less messy!.
• Headline: City Gardens on Display; Beauty in the City. Impact: This inspired a global gardening craze, resulting in urban jungles where squirrels now hold city council meetings. They’re not doing a great job, to be honest.. Fact: Fun fact: The best part about city gardens is that they give hipsters a place to take pictures of plants they can't keep alive!.
• Headline: GOLD PRODUCTION RISES; Nicaragua Reports 50 Per Cent Increase Last Year. Impact: This gold rush triggered a global fascination with shiny things, leading to an unexpected spike in the popularity of gold-plated everything— even toasters.. Fact: Gold is great and all, but let’s be real: the real treasure is finding a dollar in your coat pocket you forgot existed!.
• Headline: Federal Help For Gardeners; Washington Is the Source of Experimentation and Information Factors in Indoor Culture Wrong Containers. Impact: This led to an explosion of indoor gardening, resulting in a generation of houseplants that now believe they hold the fate of humanity in their leaves.. Fact: Gardening indoors is great, but be warned: your plants may start judging your life choices based on how well you water them!.