JANUARY 9, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: 'Penalty' Creed Declared Ineffective. Impact: This headline led to a series of legal debates that spiraled into the creation of countless 'Penalty' memes on social media decades later. Who knew that a seemingly mundane legal term would spawn a new generation of internet comedians?. Fact: Ironically, the only thing more futile than the 'Penalty' Creed was probably the number of people who actually read it..
• Headline: Joseph H. Buchman: Wine Pioneer Passes Away. Impact: Buchman’s death triggered a worldwide shortage of fine wine, setting off a chain reaction that led to an underground black market of boxed wine and a new appreciation for 'vintage' grape juice.. Fact: He once said, 'Wine is sunlight, held together by water.' Too bad he didn't consider how difficult that makes it for the sun to stay hydrated!.
• Headline: Dr. Arthur Vallee: Physician and Educator. Impact: Dr. Vallee’s contributions to medicine inspired a new generation of doctors who, ironically, still can’t figure out how to cure the common cold.. Fact: He was known for saying, 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'—unless, of course, that doctor is me!.
• Headline: CALLS FOR REVIVAL OF TOWN MEETINGS; Head of Town Hall Sees Them as Bulwarks of Democracy. Impact: The revival of town meetings led to the widespread distribution of homemade baked goods as bribes for votes, ultimately resulting in the rise of the local pie economy. Who knew democracy could be so delicious?. Fact: Town meetings: where arguing about potholes is considered a civic duty. Not exactly the Olympics, but hey, everyone needs a hobby!.
• Headline: MRS. ROCKWELL, 90, DIES IN PITTSFIELD; Widow of Ex-Congressman and Banker Was Graduated From Mt. Holyoke in 1868 MARSHALL FIELD'S FRIEND Her Father Gave Merchant His First Job and Offered to Make Him a Partner. Impact: Mrs. Rockwell’s passing marked the end of an era, leading to the eventual decline of old money's influence, but not before her family’s cat became a viral sensation on social media, proving that cats outlive all legacies.. Fact: She was born when women were still trying to gain the right to vote. Talk about a life lived on the edge of history!.
• Headline: RECITAL OF DANCES BY PAULINE KONER; First Appearance Before New York Audience Since 1934 at the Guild Theatre GERSHWIN MUSIC HEARD It Is Used With 'Summer Time,' a Number Characterized as Exhibition Dance. Impact: Koner’s return to the stage inspired a resurgence in dance classes, leading to an influx of awkward wedding dance moves that haunt receptions to this day.. Fact: Gershwin music is the only thing that can make even the most uncoordinated dancers feel like they belong on Broadway. Spoiler: they don’t..
• Headline: SIX PLAYS CLOSE IN THE WEEK-END; 'Everywhere I Roam' Had 12 Showings--'Here Comes the Clowns' Stops Jan. 21 THREE EVENTS TONIGHT 'Shakespeare's Merchant-- 1939' in Brooklyn--'The Mikado' at Martin Beck. Impact: The closing of these plays saw a dramatic increase in the number of people pretending to understand Shakespeare, leading to a rise in accidental Shakespearean language being used in everyday conversations.. Fact: The only thing more tragic than a play closing is the realization that most people still think 'The Bard' is just a guy who sings in a pub..
• Headline: Powderly--McDonald. Impact: This cryptic headline led to endless speculation about a secret society between these two individuals, resulting in the creation of a cult dedicated to the worship of french fries—McDonald's just couldn't catch a break.. Fact: It's amazing how a simple headline can lead to a fast-food frenzy. Who knew that two names could hold so much grease?.