DECEMBER 14, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Berlin Press Ridicules Eden's Visit. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction of international ridicule that inspired future leaders to develop thicker skins. Without this moment, social media influencers might never have learned the fine art of trolling.. Fact: Did you know that in 1938, sarcasm was still considered a polite form of communication? Just kidding, it was always a way to cover up deep-seated insecurities..
• Headline: Marine Auxiliary Elects New Leadership. Impact: The election of the Marine Auxiliary led to an unforeseen increase in the number of 'marine' themed parties, causing a global shortage of Hawaiian shirts and foam beer mugs.. Fact: Fun fact: The Marine Auxiliary has been meeting annually since forever, but nobody really knows what they do. They might just be really dedicated to socializing..
• Headline: Barkley Meets with President Roosevelt. Impact: This meeting paved the way for future political discussions where vague affirmations became the norm. It ultimately led to the infamous 'Let’s just agree to disagree' style of modern politics.. Fact: Did you know that 'separate reorganization bills' is just a fancy way of saying 'we're going to keep rearranging the deck chairs on this sinking ship'?.
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES. Impact: Books from this era inspired a long line of pretentious literary critics who would analyze cereal boxes if given half the chance, leading to the rise of Instagram poets.. Fact: C. Poore's selection in 1938 was so influential that people started believing that 'reading' was a sport. Spoiler alert: it isn't..
• Headline: Reich Writers Stalk Out As Lima Talk Flays Nazis. Impact: This walkout inspired countless future protests, proving that sometimes, the pen is indeed mightier than the sword – especially when it comes to making a dramatic exit.. Fact: When writers walk out, it's usually a sign that their last coffee break was too long. Just imagine the drama in the break room!.
• Headline: YUGOSLAVS CHARGE FRAUD; Opposition Says Government's Vote Figures Are False. Impact: This allegation of fraud marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition of political accusations, paving the way for future reality TV stars to claim they were robbed during 'The Vote.'. Fact: Fun fact: In political terms, 'fraud' is often just a polite way of saying, 'We lost, and we’re really mad about it.'.
• Headline: Loyalists Taunt Rebels in Opposite Trenches; 'Where's the Bull?' They Cry as Drive Waits; Attack Expected Momentarily Mine Blasts at Madrid Front. Impact: This moment of taunting not only added a layer of theatricality to warfare but also inspired generations of comedians to use conflict as their stage.. Fact: Despite the seriousness of the situation, ‘Where’s the Bull?’ became a catchphrase that resonated through the ages, proving that humor can exist even in the darkest times..
• Headline: I. T. & T. TO EXPAND IN SOUTH AMERICA; $15,000,000 Long-Term Loans Have Been Arranged. Impact: This expansion inadvertently led to the global obsession with cell phones, indirectly causing your grandmother to text you 20 times in a row asking if you've eaten.. Fact: In 1938, $15,000,000 was considered a small fortune. Today, it’s barely enough to buy a decent cup of coffee in a hipster café..
• Headline: MEXICO PROPOSES PLAN ON INVESTORS; Offers Lima Parley a Way to Bar Diplomatic Protection for Aliens OPPOSES THE U. S. POLICY Conference Is Asked to Adopt Convention Removing Special Status for Foreigners U. S. Emphasizes Policy Argentina's Plan for Foreigners. Impact: This proposal marked the beginning of a never-ending cycle of diplomatic negotiations that would ultimately lead to the invention of the phrase, 'Let’s table that for now.'. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic meetings often resemble family reunions? Lots of talk, lots of food, and very little actual resolution..