DECEMBER 11, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Navigation Techniques Unveiled. Impact: The introduction of new navigation methods led to a sudden spike in global tourism. Fast forward a century, and everyone is scrambling to find WiFi in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, all thanks to Weems.. Fact: Did you know that before GPS, people relied on compasses and maps? Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Tax Dispute Involving W. Donner. Impact: W. Donner’s tax woes created a ripple effect, inspiring countless sitcoms about dysfunctional family finances. Years later, tax season would become a national punchline.. Fact: Fun fact: If you owe the IRS, the only thing more painful than paying taxes is telling your family you owe the IRS..
• Headline: Roosevelt Defends Free Press in 1938. Impact: Roosevelt's defense of the free press inadvertently led to the birth of clickbait headlines. Who knew that a noble cause could spiral into 'You Won't Believe What This Politician Said!'?. Fact: Did you know that the press has been vital to democracy since the dawn of time? Or, at least, since the dawn of newspapers—whichever came first..
• Headline: W.M. GUILFORD, 106, A DOCTOR 86 YEARS; Oldest Living Alumnus- of the University of Pennsylvania, 1852 Graduate, Dies PRACTICED UNTIL PAST 100 Began at Lebanon, Pa., Before Civil War-Remembered Clay, Webster and Calhoun Began Before Civil War Remembered Clay and Webster. Impact: Dr. W.M. Guilford's record of longevity inspired generations to take their vitamins—only for future generations to discover that kale is the new elixir of life.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Guilford practiced medicine past the age of 100? Talk about a dedication to your job—or just a refusal to retire!.
• Headline: BRADMAN GETS 83 NOT OUT; His Cricket Team Gains Lead Over Rest of Australia. Impact: Bradman’s cricket prowess not only solidified his place in sports history but also triggered a long-standing rivalry that would inspire the creation of far too many cricket-themed video games.. Fact: Did you know that cricket matches can last for days? Because who doesn’t love a good, long game of standing around waiting for something to happen?.
• Headline: City Swept by Wind of 47 Miles an Hour After Freakish Thunder and Hail Storm. Impact: The freak storm that swept the city not only disrupted power but also sparked a series of urban legends about 'The Great Hailstorm of 2023' that people still tell at their barbecues.. Fact: Did you know that hailstones can be as big as tennis balls? That’s right, forget about tennis; dodgeball is the new backyard sport!.
• Headline: EUGENE BEITTER DIES; LONG IN CHICORY FIRM; Secretary and Treasurer for Flushing Manufacturers. Impact: Eugene Beitter's death marked the end of an era for the chicory firm, leading to a decline in chicory's popularity. Little did they know, it would be resurrected later as the hipster coffee alternative.. Fact: Did you know chicory root is often used as a coffee substitute? Because nothing says trendy like pretending to love something that tastes like dirt..
• Headline: AMONG THE NEW SHOWS; Bracketing Rowlandson and Pop HartRecent Work by Lawson and Others Across the River. Impact: The art exhibit that showcased Rowlandson and Pop Hart sparked a cultural renaissance, leading to future avant-garde art movements. Art students everywhere rejoiced and lamented simultaneously.. Fact: Did you know that art can be subjective? Just ask anyone who thinks a banana taped to a wall is a masterpiece..
• Headline: All Czecho-Slovak Papers Will Have Own Censors. Impact: The censorship of Czecho-Slovak papers became the blueprint for future governments to control narratives, showing us that the pen can indeed be mightier than the sword—unless the sword is wielded by a censor.. Fact: Did you know that censorship has been around longer than the internet? Yup, people were getting their news filtered long before social media made it trendy!.