NOVEMBER 29, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eden to Address Manufacturers Event. Impact: Eden's speech to manufacturers set off a chain reaction that led to the invention of the modern assembly line. Somewhere, a time traveler is rolling their eyes at how long it took for that to happen.. Fact: Did you know this is the same time period when people thought 'manufacturing' was just a fancy way to say 'making stuff in your garage'?.
• Headline: Raid on Silver Shirt Meeting in Chicago. Impact: This raid on the Silver Shirt meeting inadvertently inspired a new trend in protest fashion—because nothing says 'we're against fascism' like matching outfits and a good ol' brawl.. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase 'fight club' was originally coined in Chicago but it referred to actual fights, not just hipster book clubs..
• Headline: Local Meats Showcase in 1938. Impact: The promotion of locally dressed meats led to a culinary renaissance where every dinner table became a runway for the latest pork fashions. People still didn't understand that meat doesn't actually wear clothes.. Fact: Did you know that some people still believe that 'locally dressed' means the animals are wearing tiny hats while being butchered?.
• Headline: Plans for Remodeling Neutrality Act Denied. Impact: The denial of remodeling the Neutrality Act caused a ripple effect of indecisiveness in U.S. foreign policy, leading to many future presidents saying, 'Well, let's just wait and see.'. Fact: Did you know the Neutrality Act was so neutral it could have been a Switzerland-themed party?.
• Headline: FIGHT HIGHER FRUIT RATES; Growers and Carriers File With I. C. C. on Railway Express. Impact: The fight over higher fruit rates led to an unprecedented spike in fruit prices, causing people to hoard bananas. This led to the Great Banana Crisis of 1940, which historians still can't take seriously.. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever wondered why bananas are curved, it's because they were trying to escape the price hike!.
• Headline: Irish Envoy to Be Greeted. Impact: The warm welcome for the Irish Envoy sparked a series of diplomatic dinners that eventually turned into the world's first potluck diplomacy, proving that nothing resolves conflict like sharing a meal.. Fact: Did you know that the Irish have been perfecting the art of diplomacy over pints for centuries? It’s basically a national pastime..
• Headline: STATE PARTY FIGHT ON SIMPSON ENDS AS HARMONY WINS; JAECKLE GETS HIGH POST Early Dissension Indicated Statement by Jaeckle Conservatives Heed Unity Pleas at Republican Executive Committee Meeting He Is Elected Legislative Liaison Man, a Position Now Held by Murray STATE PARTY FIGHT ON SIMPSON ENDS Liberal Elements Triumph. Impact: The State Party fight's resolution set the stage for political harmony that lasted until approximately five minutes later when someone dared to suggest a new tax. Cue the chaos!. Fact: Did you know that political harmony is just a euphemism for 'everyone agrees to disagree until lunch'?.
• Headline: A. A. U. MEETING PLANS SET; Committees Will Prepare Action Friday for Convention. Impact: The seaplane's snowy landing inspired future aviation engineers to create all-weather planes. Somewhere, a guy named Bob is still trying to figure out how to land a plane on a trampoline.. Fact: Fun fact: This was the first time anyone realized that pontoons could double as skis, leading to the creation of extreme water skiing that nobody asked for..
• Headline: ANTI-FASCIST DEAN IS SHOT IN RUMANIA; Students Slay a Detective After Attack on Prof. Goanga.