NOVEMBER 25, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mass Dismissals Loom for WPA Workers. Impact: The ousting of 20,000 WPA workers spurred a nationwide DIY movement where citizens built their own roads, bridges, and even schools, leading to a resurgence in home improvement shows and the invention of the modern 'how-to' guide. Thanks, LaGuardia!. Fact: Did you know that the WPA was initially designed to put people to work, not to create an army of unemployed DIY enthusiasts? Talk about a plot twist!.
• Headline: Protest Against Lifting Loyalist Embargo. Impact: The protest against lifting the Loyalist embargo inadvertently inspired a secret society of intellectuals who met in basements to concoct conspiracy theories about Franco and his alleged mind control over American scholars. Spoiler alert: it was just the wine. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for the embargo was that the intellectuals couldn't agree on the best way to pronounce 'Franco'?.
• Headline: BRAZIL TO GARRISON NAZIS' STRONGHOLD; Pushes Work on Big Barracks in Blumenau and Will Put Artillery There as Warning Long Rubbed Wrong Way BRAZIL TO GARRISON NAZIS' STRONGHOLD Hostility Unmistakable Nazis Lay Low for a Time Argentine Reports Scouted. Impact: Brazil's decision to garrison the Nazis' stronghold inadvertently made it the go-to vacation spot for spies and adventurers, resulting in the creation of countless cheesy spy novels and movies set in tropical paradises. Thanks for the beach reads, Brazil!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more dangerous than a Nazi stronghold is trying to get a sunburn while dodging bullets? Brazil really knows how to combine leisure and danger!.
• Headline: Hayes to Coach at Fordham. Impact: Hayes coaching at Fordham led to a long-standing tradition of athletes pretending they were too injured to practice, which eventually became a beloved trope in sports comedies. Just think, we might never have had 'The Waterboy' without him!. Fact: Did you know that coaching is just a fancy term for babysitting grown-ups? Hayes is basically the original sports babysitter!.
• Headline: Hiram Lewines Wed 25 Years. Impact: Hiram Lewines celebrating 25 years of marriage sparked a nationwide trend of couples renewing their vows with increasingly elaborate ceremonies, leading to the rise of reality TV wedding shows that have made us all question our life choices. Fact: Did you know that Hiram's secret to marital success was likely just agreeing on who controls the remote? The real question is, who really won?.
• Headline: 12 AIR RAIDS SHAKE BARCELONA NERVES; Spanish Officials Interpret the Attacks as a Gesture by Mussolini to Paris Parley THOUSANDS GO SLEEPLESS Americans Who Are About to Return Home Urge Roosevelt to Lift the Embargo People Take Shelter Americans Mark Thanksgiving New Clothes for Each. Impact: The 12 air raids on Barcelona turned the city into a hotspot for war photography, which later influenced the aesthetic of Instagram influencers who thought they were being edgy with their 'candid' war-themed shots. Fact: Did you know that air raids are basically the universe’s way of telling you to invest in a good pair of earplugs? Just think of all the sleepless nights!.
• Headline: ELIZABETH HILLSON WED; Wellesley Alumna Bride of Dr. Roy Seideman in Boston. Impact: Elizabeth Hillson's wedding became the talk of the town, inspiring a generation of brides to overthink their floral arrangements and cake flavors, ultimately resulting in a multi-billion dollar wedding industry that thrives on indecision. Fact: Did you know that weddings are just fancy parties where everyone pretends to be happy for the couple while secretly judging their choice of cake? It's a real talent!.