NOVEMBER 4, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lawyers Defend Dewey's Qualifications. Impact: Dewey's praise from lawyers led to a secret society of legal eagles forming, who eventually influenced the creation of the first reality TV show about courtroom drama, thus ruining public trust in actual lawyers forever. Fact: Ironically, Dewey’s supporters probably just wanted to ensure they wouldn’t be the next ones on the chopping block for incompetence.
• Headline: Rail Union Backs Mead in 1938. Impact: The rail union's endorsement of Mead sparked a wild train craze that eventually led to a reality competition where contestants had to compete in rail yard obstacle courses. Spoiler alert: nobody won. Fact: The Switchmen's Union of North America is the only union that can boast about being the backbone of a train wreck… literally.
• Headline: ASSAILS RACE ISSUE; Prosecutor Asserts He Wants No Votes If Prejudice Is Basis. Impact: The prosecutor's stance against prejudice surprisingly inspired a series of 'no-vote' parties, where people celebrate their refusal to engage in biased voting—complete with confetti and existential angst. Fact: It’s comforting to know that even back then, politicians were masters at saying the right thing without actually meaning it.
• Headline: 9 SERVITEN MONKS ARREST BY NAZIS; Drive Is Resumed in Innsbruck Against Alleged Immorality. Impact: The arrest of the monks triggered a chain reaction that ultimately led to the invention of the 'good monk' meme, forever altering the way people perceive pious figures on the internet. Fact: It’s a sobering reminder that even in the past, morality was a slippery slope—sometimes ending in handcuffs.
• Headline: SLOAN ASKS PRICES TO ASSURE PROFITS, LET CAPITAL LIVE; Labor Should Take Cuts in Subnormal Times, He Tells Boston Chamber FOR ECONOMY OF PLENTY He Urges Large Production to Maintain Jobs and Wages--Says Trade Is Gaining Improvement in Business SLOAN ASKS PRICES TO ASSURE PROFITS Expresses Views on Formula Three Factors Are Stressed Says Productivity Must Rise. Impact: Sloan's insistence on profits led to an underground economy of price-gouging lemonade stands, which eventually resulted in the Great Lemonade Rebellion of 1945. Fact: The irony is that while Sloan wanted cooperation, all he got was a lot of angry kids with overpriced lemonade and a sense of injustice.
• Headline: MEAD SAYS DEWEY USES 'WEASEL' TALK; Denies Charge That President Created 'Super-Tammany'--Hails Civil Service MEAD SAYS DEWEY USES 'WEASEL' TALK. Impact: Mead's quips about Dewey’s 'weasel' talk led to a new genre of political satire, paving the way for late-night talk shows where weasel impersonations became a staple. Fact: If we had a dollar for every time a politician used 'weasel' talk, we could probably afford to hire a real weasel to help them out.
• Headline: 9-POWER PACT HELD OBSOLETE BY JAPAN; U. S. BACKS VALIDITY; ABROGATION HINTED WASHINGTON STANDS PAT Statement to U. S. Possible Chauvinistic View Expressed United States Upholds Treaty U.S. BACKS VALIDITY OF 9-POWER PACT Results of Parley Outlined Reply to Japan Seen. Impact: Japan's dismissal of the 9-Power Pact resulted in a series of awkward diplomatic dinners where everyone pretended not to notice the elephant in the room—Japan's ego. Fact: It turns out that treaties are a lot like relationships—when one side stops caring, it just leads to a lot of passive-aggressive statements.
• Headline: WOMEN'S CAVALCADE AIDS LEHMAN, POLETTI; Cars Start at Gracie Square and Visit All Boroughs. Impact: The women’s cavalcade supporting Lehman sparked a nationwide phenomenon where women everywhere started organizing parades for every cause imaginable, including the right to wear mismatched socks. Fact: Who knew that a simple parade could lead to such chaos? Next thing you know, we’ll have a parade for National Napping Day.