OCTOBER 30, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Debate on Germany's Colonial Aspirations. Impact: If Britain had just given Germany their colonies back, we might have seen a proliferation of schnitzel stands across Africa, leading to a global culinary revolution that made bratwurst the staple of every world cuisine. The butterfly flaps its wings and suddenly, we have Oktoberfest in Nairobi.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing harder to give back than a colony is a bad haircut? Just try asking a barber..
• Headline: Exploring the Charms of the Sahara. Impact: The Sahara Desert's charm may have inspired future vacationers to seek out 'exotic' locations, inadvertently leading to the rise of overpriced sand resorts and the invention of the inflatable camel. All thanks to a few bus rides through the dunes.. Fact: Did you know that mirages are just nature's way of playing tricks on thirsty travelers? Kind of like your ex showing up at your favorite bar..
• Headline: Radio Libel Responsibility Legislation Proposed. Impact: This legislation could lead to a future where every radio host double-checks their words, creating a world where talk radio is as thrilling as watching paint dry. 'No comment' becomes a popular catchphrase.. Fact: Did you know that the first radio broadcast was actually just someone yelling, 'Is this thing on?' into a tin can? True story..
• Headline: The Wild West of South America; PATAGONIAN YEAR. By Bruno Nordang. Translated From the Norwegian by Arthur G. Chater. Illustrated. 253 pp. New York: Alfred A. Knopf. $2.75.. Impact: Nordang's account of Patagonia may have inspired future explorers, leading to a boom in tourism that resulted in the creation of the first eco-friendly travel agency—where you pay to stare at a computer screen of the wilderness instead of actually going there.. Fact: Did you know that Patagonia is named after the word for 'big feet' in the local dialect? Guess they really knew how to market their hiking boots..
• Headline: New Mystery Stories; CRIMEFILE NUMBER 4: File on Claudia Cragge. By Q. Patrick. 200 pp. New York: William Morrow & Co. $2.25.. Impact: The rise of mystery stories could have led to the creation of a future where every mundane event is turned into a thriller movie. ‘The Case of the Missing Left Sock’ might just be the next blockbuster.. Fact: Did you know that mystery novels have been around since the ancient Greeks? They were just a lot less thrilling back then—think more ‘Who stole my toga?’.
• Headline: MRS. HERBERT COBLEIGH. Impact: Mrs. Herbert Cobleigh's headline could lead to a future where the spouses of the famous are as well-known as the famous themselves. We're one reality show away from everyone knowing the Kardashians' dog walkers' names.. Fact: Did you know that in olden times, women were often referred to by their husband's name? So, if you were married to a Cobleigh, you're basically history's version of a sidekick..
• Headline: LEHMAN RECOUNTS 'FEARLESS' RECORD AS CORRUPTION FOE; PointstoErieCounty'Clean- Up,' Saying He Ordered It Over Prosecutor's Objection CITES NAMING OF DEWEY Enforced Law in Every Part of State, He Tells Buffalo Rally in Retort to His Rival Defied Objection, He Says Gets Ovation from 4,500 LEHMAN REVIEWS ANTI-CRIME RECORD Merit System Declared Upheld Answers "Fraud and Sham" Hits Dewey's "Hnowledge". Impact: Lehman's anti-corruption campaign might have inspired future politicians to actually keep their promises—oh wait, never mind, that was just wishful thinking. But hey, at least we had a moment of hope!. Fact: Did you know that political rallies are basically the adult version of pep rallies? Only with more shouting and fewer pom-poms..
• Headline: BUILDER PREDICTS INCREASE IN COSTS; Levitt Cites Trade Gain and Other Factors in Market. Impact: The prediction of increased construction costs might have led to the invention of a new currency: the 'Inflation Dollar,' where one dollar equals one brick. Future economists still argue about how to measure it.. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked all the building materials made in a year, it would make a very impressive, albeit useless, tower? Probably not on any architect's wish list..
• Headline: Trucks to Have New Type of Diesel Engine; General Motors Units Provide Double Power. Impact: The development of new diesel engines may have sparked a revolution in truck races, leading to a future where diesel-powered monster trucks become the favored mode of public transportation. Imagine the traffic jams!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'diesel' comes from the inventor Rudolf Diesel, who probably never imagined his name would be synonymous with loud engines and your neighbor's annoying pickup truck?.