SEPTEMBER 17, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tamarack Tournament Opens with Surprises. Impact: The Tamarack Tourney, a seemingly innocent golf event, secretly sparked a global obsession with miniature golf, leading to the rise of countless tiny windmills and clown decorations in backyards everywhere. Thanks, Tynan and Caswell, for ruining our summers!. Fact: The first miniature golf course opened in 1916, which means this tournament probably inspired a lot of backyard DIY disasters!.
• Headline: Rutland Seeks RFC Loan for Equipment. Impact: The Rutland's request for a loan turned out to be the seed of a massive banking scandal 50 years later, leading to a new genre of crime novels titled 'RFC: Really Fun Crimes'. The ripple effect continues to haunt the banking industry. Fact: Asking for a loan is like asking your friend for a ride home after they just got a new car—awkward and full of hidden motives.
• Headline: NANCY HULL IS BRIDE; Wed in Wilton, Conn., Church to George Camp Keiser. Impact: Nancy Hull's marriage to George Camp Keiser inadvertently launched a new fashion trend for wedding attire that required veils, tuxedos, and absolutely no pants for the groom—a style that somehow caught on in 2075. Fact: In some cultures, it's traditional for brides to wear a blue dress, which is way more practical than white if you're planning to spill something at the reception!.
• Headline: PRAGUE SEES WAR; Mobilization Is Complete With All Troops in Appointed Places SUDETEN PARTY OUTLAWED Reich Forces Closely Encircle Czechoslovakia--Seizure of Hostages Is Protested Information on Parley Cites Other Germans PRAGUE SEES WAR; ARMY ALL READY Ex-Negotiators Remain. Impact: The mobilization in Prague triggered a chain reaction of European tensions that ultimately led to 'The Great Hostage Situation of 1945', wherein every nation tried to outdo each other in dramatic hostage tales. Spoiler: it didn't end well. Fact: Hostage situations are like bad reality TV shows—full of unexpected twists and often leave you feeling a little dirty for watching.
• Headline: MISS MARTHA HALL MARRIED IN CHAPEL; She Becomes Bride of Kingsley Mabon of New York at St. Bartholomew's Here HIS SISTER IS ATTENDANT Dr. George Paull T. Sargent Officiates--Couple Sail for Month in Europe. Impact: Martha Hall's marriage to Kingsley Mabon turned out to be the first step in a long line of disastrous royal marriages, inspiring a reality show called 'Royalty Gone Wrong'. Some say the first season is based on this very couple. Fact: Wedding season is the only time you can wear a tuxedo for a few hours and feel like a million bucks—before going back to sweatpants.
• Headline: Mary Van Praag Engaged. Impact: Mary Van Praag's engagement sent shockwaves through the social circles, causing a series of wild wedding mishaps that included a cake fight that led to a viral TikTok trend 80 years later. Fact: Engagement rings have become so extravagant that one might think they were designed to distract from the fact that the couple has probably never agreed on what to watch on Netflix.
• Headline: HISTORIANS VISIT OLD-TIME SCENES; 1,000 in Motor Caravan Go on Pilgrimage to Famous Homes Near Vassar VIEW RELICS OF CENTURY Treasures of the Montgomery Place Shown--Flick and Nevins Elected Fellows View Accumulated Treasures To Hear President Over Radio. Impact: The historians' pilgrimage led to an annual event where historians now argue over the best relics while eating stale donuts, planting the seeds for a new tradition of historical 'food fights' that still confuse historians today. Fact: Historians love to reminisce about the past, which is probably why they always seem to have the most boring parties—lots of facts, no fun.
• Headline: R.L. BACON IS BURIED WITH MILIT ARY RITES; Former Army Associates Attend Service in Arlington Cemetery. Impact: R.L. Bacon's burial with military rites led to a bizarre trend where bacon-themed memorials became a thing, with people ironically celebrating their love for pork long after they were gone. That's one way to ensure you're remembered. Fact: Bacon is the only food that can bring together vegetarians and meat lovers in a heated debate about its merits, proving that love (and diet) knows no boundaries.
• Headline: Firemen Use Cider on Blaze. Impact: Firemen using cider to extinguish a blaze inadvertently started the trend of using unconventional liquids for firefighting, leading to a bizarre competition where the winner got free pizza for a year. Talk about a 'slice' of life!. Fact: Using cider to put out fires is a great reminder that in the heat of the moment, you can always turn to a refreshing beverage—even if it’s not the best choice for firefighting!.