SEPTEMBER 1, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Daring 5th Ave. Jewelry Heist. Impact: This daring daylight robbery led to a surge in the diamond insurance market; and soon after, the phrase 'all that glitters is not gold' was rephrased to 'all that glitters is not safe!'. Fact: The thieves probably thought they were in a heist movie, but the only thing missing was the dramatic soundtrack..
• Headline: Dewey's Rise Amid Hines Scandal. Impact: This political scandal created a domino effect, leading to the rise of the 'Politician's Guide to Avoiding Jail' – a bestseller that nobody admits to reading.. Fact: If only lawyers were as good at fixing things as they were at fixing elections, we might have a much more competent government!.
• Headline: Maginnis Gets British Honor. Impact: Maginnis's honorary title led to an unexpected trend where architects began receiving accolades for just showing up. Soon, every amateur builder was claiming honorary member status.. Fact: This was the start of the 'Everyone Gets an Honorary Title' phenomenon—thankfully, it hasn't caught on in politics... yet..
• Headline: VON CRAMM A JAIL CLERK; German Tennis Player Has Relatively Easy Life. Impact: Von Cramm's relatively easy life as a jail clerk inspired a new wave of tennis players to consider careers in the penal system – who knew prison life could be so... leisurely?. Fact: When asked about his job, he probably said, 'It's a racket, but I can't complain!'.
• Headline: MARKS SHATTERED ON GRAND CIRCUIT; Her Ladyship Ties Own World Record for Pacing Mares, Then Clips 3-Heat Time ROSALIND SHINES IN TROT Sets Universal Standard for Mares--Billie Direct Wins in Straight Heats SEMI-PRO BASEBALL. Impact: The record-breaking performances in horse racing led to an increase in horse betting, which would soon be followed by the tragic rise of 'Horse Racing Syndicates Anonymous.'. Fact: Her Ladyship and Rosalind could probably teach us a thing or two about breaking records—especially when it comes to outrunning debt collectors..
• Headline: LITIGATION COST TVA $13500,000; Fly Calls Tables Conservative When Wolverton Questions Accuracy of the Totals Estimates of Losses LITIGATION COST TVA $13,500,000 Upholds Rights of Investors,. Impact: The TVA's costly litigation opened the floodgates for legal teams everywhere to realize that 'winning' isn't always synonymous with 'profit.'. Fact: In this instance, 'litigation costs' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We paid a fortune to argue about how we spent a fortune.'.