AUGUST 13, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jobless Fund Expansion in 1938. Impact: This sudden influx of funds led to a massive uptick in job-seeking behavior, resulting in the creation of the world's first 'Jobless Fund Support Group'. Little did they know, it would eventually evolve into the 'National Couch Potato Association'.. Fact: Did you know that the Jobless Fund is the only fund that actually encourages people to not work? Talk about a motivational paradox!.
• Headline: New Drivers' Licenses Available Soon. Impact: This momentous occasion in the realm of bureaucracy triggered a chain reaction where millions suddenly believed they were race car drivers. Insurance companies rejoiced.. Fact: Fun fact: The first people to get their licenses were also the first to discover the wonders of parallel parking... and panic attacks!.
• Headline: M. J. HARTNEADY, 59, ANTHRACITE FIGURE; Secretary of Mines in the Cabinet of Governor Earle in Pennsylvania Dies. Impact: Hartneady's death marked a pivotal moment in the mining industry, as it initiated a series of reforms that would eventually lead to stricter regulations and the famous 'No Mining While Texting' law.. Fact: M. J. Hartneady was known for his commitment to safety—he was actually the first to suggest wearing hard hats instead of just hoping for the best!.
• Headline: Appointed Chairman Of Crown Zellerbach. Impact: The appointment of a new chairman inadvertently triggered a paper shortage that led to a nationwide 'Save the Trees' campaign, which ironically resulted in a surge in paper usage. Oops.. Fact: The chairman’s first act was to suggest they recycle old memos. The office laughed, thinking he was joking. Spoiler alert: he wasn't!.
• Headline: FAIR'S 'BIG APPLE' FINISHED IN STEEL; Both Perisphere and Trylon Presented to La Guardia as Last Rivet Is Driven NOT ONE MAJOR ACCIDENT All 54 Workers Get Awards of Merit-Lord Mayor of London Invited to Exposition Honor Guard at Attention Mayor Sees Inspiration in Fair. Impact: The completion of the Big Apple sparked an obsession with shiny objects in New York, leading to the infamous 'Glittering Skyline Syndrome' that persists to this day.. Fact: Did you know that the last rivet was driven by a guy named Steve who just wanted to get a selfie with La Guardia? Priorities, people!.
• Headline: MISS BETTY NAUDIN MARRIED UP-STATE; Marymount Academy Alumna Is Wed in Gloversville to John F. McGrath Jr. BERMUDA TRIP PLANNED Couple Will Make Their Home Here-The Bridegroom Is Alumnus of Villanova Morrison-Harris. Impact: This wedding sparked a series of romantic entanglements across the state, leading to the establishment of a matchmaking service that would later be known as 'When Will I Ever Find Love'.. Fact: Betty's wedding was so charming that it inspired a reality TV show that lasted a full week before everyone turned off their TVs in favor of actual life..
• Headline: 2 SAVED IN DELAWARE AFTER FERRY IS UPSET; Cling to Craft as It Is Swept Two Miles by Flood Current. Impact: The dramatic rescue became a legendary tale, inspiring a future generation of thrill-seekers to pursue 'extreme ferry riding', which is just as ridiculous as it sounds.. Fact: The two survivors were later asked to endorse a brand of life jackets. They declined, stating that their newfound fame was more than enough excitement for one lifetime..
• Headline: WILLIAM KOERNER, MAGAZINE ARTIST; Illustrator for Saturday Evening Post and Others Dies at 59. Impact: Koerner's passing left a significant void in the world of magazine art, causing a brief renaissance of stick-figure illustrations before society collectively decided to aim higher.. Fact: William Koerner once illustrated a cat that became so famous, it actually ran for mayor. It lost, but gained over a million Instagram followers..