AUGUST 4, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Charles W. Doehler's Legacy in A. & P.. Impact: If only Mr. Doehler had discovered a magical maintenance technique, we might have avoided the great 1970s plumbing crisis that led to the rise of DIY home improvement shows. Thanks, Charles!. Fact: Charles W. Doehler was known for his maintenance skills, but little did he know that his legacy would inspire countless amateur handymen to attempt disastrous home repairs.
• Headline: Goldman Band's Music Memory Contest 1938. Impact: The memory contest sparked a chain reaction that ultimately led to the creation of reality TV talent shows. Thank you, Goldman Band, for paving the way for people to forget their dignity on national television. Fact: The annual music memory contest was basically a precursor to karaoke nights—where people get together to showcase their 'memory' of songs, regardless of their actual talent.
• Headline: Blind Girl Appeals to King for Dog. Impact: Hazel’s heartfelt plea inspired a future generation of emotional appeals, leading to the rise of social media influencers and their endless campaigns for 'paw-sitive' change. Thanks, King George, for not giving in!. Fact: This appeal shows that even in the 1930s, people understood the importance of good PR—especially when it involved a beloved pet.
• Headline: FUNDS FOR INQUIRY ON RELIEF DENIED; Council Committee's Request for $55,000 Is Rejected, 10 to 3, by Estimate Board MORRIS CHIDES SURPLESS Accuses Him of 'Frustrated Egotism'--$9,308,400 Voted for Relief in August Says Surpless Has Axe to Grind Committee "Not Surprised". Impact: The denial of funds for relief inquiries set a precedent for bureaucratic inefficiencies that would later inspire entire seasons of political dramas. Thanks, Morris, for channeling your inner soap opera villain!. Fact: The amount denied was almost enough to fund a small country’s relief efforts, but hey, who needs compassion when you have frustrated egotism?.
• Headline: JAMES CURRY. Impact: The mere mention of James Curry puts him on the historical map, leading future generations to mistakenly believe he was a famous chef. Spoiler: he wasn't. Fact: With a name like James Curry, he could have easily been a culinary legend—if only he had taken a different career path!.
• Headline: BARCELONA RAID LEAVES MANY DEAD; 5 Rebel Bombers, Caught in Searchlight Rays, Escape--Franco Shifts Forces Gandesa Declared Not Goal BARCELONA RAID LEAVES MANY DEAD Franco Shifts Air Force Conflict Spreads Widely. Impact: The chaos of the Barcelona raid inadvertently inspired a famous video game series where players must navigate through historical conflicts—just without the actual 'many dead' part. Good job, Franco!. Fact: This raid was one of those moments that made people question whether their vacation plans to Barcelona were a good idea or a terrible gamble.
• Headline: Kennedy Goes to France. Impact: Kennedy’s jaunt to France set off a chain of diplomatic visits that would eventually lead to a series of awkward state dinners and the infamous 'French fries' debate in America. Fact: Kennedy going to France likely made the French feel special for about five minutes until they remembered they had to deal with American tourists.
• Headline: ANOTHER SUPERLINER IN FRENCH LINE LIKELY; De Linclays, Sailing, Says Ship of Normandie Class May Be Builtt. Impact: The idea of a new superliner sparked fantasies of luxury travel that eventually contributed to the rise of the cruise industry, where people now pay to be trapped at sea. Thanks a lot, De Linclays!. Fact: The Normandie class was so grand that it was basically a floating 5-star hotel—now we just get floating buffet lines.
• Headline: Mosquito Bite Fatal to Boy. Impact: This unfortunate incident led to increased awareness of mosquito-borne diseases, igniting a public health movement that eventually made mosquitoes the most hated animal on Earth—right after rats. Fact: Ray Stanelis' story reminds us that not all heroes wear capes; some just happen to be on the wrong end of a mosquito bite.
• Headline: DR. FRANK QUACKENBUSH; Northport, L. I., Dentist Was the Vice President of Bank. Impact: Dr. Quackenbush's dual life as a dentist and bank vice president triggered a wave of aspiring professionals who believed they could juggle multiple careers—leading to the rise of the overworked millennial. Fact: With a name like Quackenbush, he certainly had a lot to live up to—who would trust a dentist with a name like that? Turns out, plenty of people did!.