JULY 27, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Pardon for Ramos Announced. Impact: If only Ramos had stayed out of the headlines, we might have avoided the entire genre of 'politicians who need pardons.' Imagine a world where no one has to shout 'You're fired!' at a press conference.. Fact: Ramos' pardon led to countless memes about presidential favors. You can thank him for making 'Get out of jail free' cards a thing in politics..
• Headline: Chamberlain's Optimism on European Tensions. Impact: Chamberlain's optimism about Czechs could have led to a peaceful Europe... if only he had a crystal ball to see the future. Spoiler alert: It was not as hopeful as he thought.. Fact: Chamberlain's attempts at diplomacy are like that one friend who insists everything is fine while the house is burning down. Just a little too optimistic!.
• Headline: Stock Exchange Changes Announced. Impact: The stock exchange planned changes led to a domino effect of financial jargon that would confuse generations. Who knew 'bull' and 'bear' would become the most used emojis in the finance world?. Fact: The only thing more volatile than the stock market is a toddler in a candy store after a sugar rush. Just saying..
• Headline: GOL. GIFFIN DENIES DRINKING CHARGES; Gives His Version of Six Cases Cited by Ex-Adjutant in Army Court-Martial HE TELLS OF SMITH DEAL Accusations Filed, He Says, After He Refused to Give Money to Lieutenant Threat to Sue Discussed Formal Charges Finally Made Business Arrangement Told Auto Agency at Issue. Impact: Giffin's denial of drinking charges might have inspired a new wave of 'I swear I was sober' defenses in courtrooms everywhere. Because, who doesn't want to be the poster child for accountability?. Fact: Giffin's saga reminds us that courtroom drama is the original reality TV. Who needs Kardashians when you have military court-martials?.
• Headline: ARMAGEDDON BUILT WALLS IN 3000 B. C.; Archaeologists Find Ancient City of Famous Name Was a Trouble Center. Impact: The discovery of Armageddon's ancient city may have inadvertently influenced every apocalyptic movie trope for centuries. Thanks, archaeologists, for the overused plotline!. Fact: Armageddon is often cited as the ultimate bad day, yet it took until Hollywood to make it truly dramatic with explosions and Bruce Willis..
• Headline: SUES FOR $5,474,353; Action by Holder of 1,000 Shares of Utility Is Revealed. Impact: Suing for over five million dollars set a precedent for stockholders everywhere. It’s like the world decided that every investment comes with an automatic 'sue us' clause.. Fact: This lawsuit is basically the adult version of whining for a refund. 'I didn’t get what I paid for!' is always a classic..
• Headline: REICHSBANK HOLDINGS OF EXCHANGE REDUCED; Loss of 253,000 Marks for Week--Deposits, Circulation Lower. Impact: The Reichsbank's losses foreshadowed the economic turmoil that would ripple through Europe. It's like watching someone slowly sink in quicksand and thinking, 'Nah, they'll be fine!'. Fact: If only the Reichsbank had invested in something other than 'how to lose money quickly,' they might have had a happier ending..
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES; Andrea The Enigma To Shangri La. Impact: Priestley's literary works were pivotal in shaping dystopian narratives. Who knew that 'Doomsday Men' would inspire a generation of writers to think, 'Hey, let's make the future sound awful!'?. Fact: If you ever need a good scare about the future, just crack open a Priestley novel. It’s like reading the news but with more plot twists!.
• Headline: HENRY STREATFEILD, EX-AIDE TO ROYALTY; Equerry to Edward VII and to Present Ruler Dies at 81. Impact: Streatfeild's passing marked the end of an era for royal aides, but it also opened the door for a new generation of 'what's it like to serve royalty?' tell-alls.. Fact: The royal family probably threw a tea party in his honor, complete with cucumber sandwiches and a side of gossip. Classic royalty!.
• Headline: WHITEFIELD AUDIENCE SEES BARRY PLAYY; Capacity Assemblage Witnesses 'Animal Kingdom' Premiere. Impact: 'Animal Kingdom' premiered, sparking a love affair with anthropomorphic tales that would carry through to today’s animated films. Who knew we’d end up with a lion that could sing?. Fact: Barry's 'Animal Kingdom' is basically the grandparent of every animated animal movie. If only it had included a talking fish, we'd have a complete set!.