JULY 26, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gesell Wins Historic Midget Auto Race. Impact: Gesell's victory in the midget auto race sparked a bizarre chain reaction, leading to the invention of tiny racing cars for pets. By 2030, cats were officially recognized as racing champions, and dog owners were left in a state of envy.. Fact: Midget auto racing was all the rage before reality TV took over. Imagine your favorite reality stars racing tiny cars instead of arguing over a rose!.
• Headline: Communists Seek Catholic Cooperation. Impact: This plea for cooperation somehow led to an awkward dinner party in 1965 where communists and Catholics debated the merits of red wine versus holy water. No one left happy, and the wine industry boomed.. Fact: When it comes to negotiations, nothing says 'let's work together' quite like a good old-fashioned theological debate. Who knew politics could be so holy?.
• Headline: Tragic Climbing Accident on Mount Marmolada. Impact: The tragic passing of these climbers led to an increase in safety regulations for mountaineering, which ironically resulted in the rise of indoor rock climbing facilities. Now, every wannabe climber can experience the thrill without the risk—unless you count falling off the couch.. Fact: Mount Marmolada is known as the 'Queen of the Dolomites.' Unfortunately, queens can be quite unforgiving..
• Headline: CARLO ALFONSO NALLINO; Italian Philologist and Islamic Historian Dies in Rome. Impact: Nallino's passing left a void in Islamic studies that wasn't filled until the internet gave rise to questionable Wikipedia entries. Now, everyone thinks they’re an expert after a 10-minute scroll.. Fact: Nallino was known for translating texts that had a significant impact on intercultural dialogue—something we could all use a little more of these days..
• Headline: ANTHONY BESSELLA. Impact: Bessella's name alone caused a minor stir in the world of obscure historical figures, leading to a cult following among people who collect names of the forgotten. In 2025, a new trend emerged where parents started naming their kids after historical footnotes.. Fact: Sometimes the most interesting people are the ones you’ve never heard of. Anthony Bessella could be the next big thing—if only we could remember why!.
• Headline: AFANSIY GNEVSHIN; Captain of Czar's Bodyguard Fled to U. S. After Red Revolt. Impact: Gnevshin's flight led to a peculiar trend of exiled royals becoming the original influencers in America, paving the way for today's reality stars who, ironically, have less actual royal blood.. Fact: Gnevshin's escape might have inadvertently inspired countless action movies. Who knew fleeing a revolution could lead to a Hollywood blockbuster?.
• Headline: Gasoline Tax Diversion Ban Dies; Party Lines Split in Albany Vote; Smith Leads Fight Against Feinberg BillSays It Is Legislative Task--Republicans Urge Vote-Getting Appeal CONVENTION KILLS MOTOR TAX MEASURE Administrative Curb Voted Discuss Debate Limit. Impact: The demise of this gasoline tax diversion ban triggered a never-ending cycle of political finger-pointing. By 2025, politicians were debating whether or not to tax air, leading to some very creative revenue streams.. Fact: In politics, dying bills are just the beginning of new debates. Who knew tax issues could be the gift that keeps on giving?.
• Headline: HOMER H. HIGLEY; Head of Norwich, N. Y., Bank Lived in That City 50 Years. Impact: Higley's long tenure at the bank inspired a series of motivational posters about loyalty. Sadly, they all ended up in the break room, where no one ever looked at them.. Fact: Homer Higley's life story is proof that banking can actually be thrilling—if you squint hard enough and imagine the drama of interest rates..
• Headline: JOHN KISSLING. Impact: Kissling’s legacy is so obscure that historians are still debating whether he was an important figure or just someone who accidentally wandered into the wrong headline. Either way, it sparked a new field of study: the 'Forgotten Names of History.'. Fact: Sometimes the most mundane names can hold the most fascinating stories. Or they can just be really, really boring..