JULY 22, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Home Rule Clause Revised in Albany. Impact: The Home Rule Clause revision led to a series of state-level governance experiments, eventually inspiring a group of rogue squirrels to demand legislative rights for rodents in New York City. Their movement sparked a nationwide 'Squirrel Power' campaign that forever changed the trajectory of local governance.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Home Rule' is often confused with 'Home Schooling'? Luckily, neither involves your uncle's unsolicited opinions on how to raise your kids..
• Headline: Ripley's Expedition and Rare Birds Discovery. Impact: Ripley's discovery of rare birds led to an underground bird-watching syndicate that would eventually finance the world's first 'Bird Olympics,' where parakeets compete in events like synchronized chirping and feather fashion shows.. Fact: Did you know that parakeets can recognize their owners? They must be great at remembering who feeds them—unlike your last date..
• Headline: British Warship Takes Nuns From Barcelona; Kennedy Helps Find Refuge for 28 Sisters. Impact: The rescue of the nuns became the catalyst for a religious reality show titled 'Nuns on the Run,' which surprisingly became a hit, inspiring a whole new genre of holy-themed entertainment, including 'Monks in the Wild.'. Fact: Nuns have a reputation for being strict, but did you know they're also known for their excellent card games? Holy poker night is a thing, and they take it very seriously..
• Headline: REV. WM. DEVLIN, 62, CATHOLIC TEACHER; Former President of Boston College, Who Was on That Faculty 19 Years, Dead. Impact: Rev. Devlin's passing sparked a sudden interest in the history of Catholic education, leading to a bizarre trend where people began naming their pets after famous priests. This has caused a significant uptick in cats named 'Father Flanagan' and dogs named 'Sister Mary.'. Fact: Rev. Devlin taught for 19 years, which is longer than most people stay in a single job nowadays—unless you count binge-watching Netflix as a job..
• Headline: ROOSEVELT LUCKY OFF CLIPPERTON; His Launch Gets Big Haul of Fish-Cruiser Later Sails for Galapagos Islands. Impact: Roosevelt's lucky fishing trip led to a fishing craze in the early 20th century, resulting in the first-ever angler-themed sitcoms and a subsequent global shortage of fishing hooks due to overzealous fans trying to catch their own 'big fish' stories.. Fact: Fishing is often called a sport, but let’s be honest: it’s just an excuse to sit quietly and avoid your responsibilities for a few hours..
• Headline: GEORGE DELANOY, SHIPPING OFFICIAL; Vice President, Director and Traffic- Chief of Southern Steamship Co. Dies HE BEGAN AS RAILROADER Rose From Post of Ticket Agent on Texas Road-Dollar-a-Year Man During World War. Impact: Delanoy's death triggered a series of memorials that inadvertently led to a wave of shipping-themed poetry, resulting in the introduction of 'Shipping Week'—an annual event where people share their most dramatic shipping disasters.. Fact: Did you know 'shipping' used to only refer to sending packages? Now it means romantic pairings in fanfiction. Clearly, words have lost their meaning..
• Headline: Hanken Signs With Pro Giants. Impact: Hanken signing with the Giants led to an unexpected trend of professional athletes becoming social media influencers, resulting in more selfies than actual games played—because who needs teamwork when you have a perfect filter?. Fact: In sports, the term 'giants' usually refers to strength, but in social media, it just means having more followers than your aunt's cat..
• Headline: DR. JOHN E. BOWMAN, HEAD OF SANITARIUM; Was Founder of Institution in Greenwich 40 Years Ago. Impact: Dr. Bowman's legacy as a sanitarium founder led to the rise of wellness retreats, which eventually spiraled into a billion-dollar 'self-care' industry that promotes everything from goat yoga to sound healing with crystal bowls.. Fact: Sanitariums were once places of healing, but now, your average spa day feels more like a high-stakes game of 'who can relax the hardest.'.