JULY 20, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: PARIS WELCOME GAY; Crowds Acclaim George and Queen, Who Ride in Glittering Procession POLICE LINES PUSHED BACK King and Lebrun Affirm the Peaceful Aims of Entente at Brilliant State Dinner Guards Screen Royal Couple Police Lines Driven Back PARIS CROWDS HAIL GEORGE AND QUEEN THE WELCOME ACCORDED TO KING GEORGE AND HIS QUEEN IN PARIS YESTERDAY. Impact: The royal visit sparked a frenzy of royal-themed merchandise. If it weren’t for this parade, we might not have had the 'Royal Corgi' plush toy collection that haunts us today. Fact: The police lines pushed back so far they accidentally invented the concept of personal space in crowds. Thanks, King George!.
• Headline: KIMON NICOLAIDES, DRAWING TEACHER; Instructor at Art Students League Dies--Won Honors With Own Paintings. Impact: Kimon Nicolaides’ death resulted in a mass existential crisis among art students, leading to a temporary ban on the phrase 'I can’t draw' in art classes worldwide. Fact: Legend has it that Nicolaides' ghost still haunts art studios, critiquing students’ sketches from the afterlife.
• Headline: MRS. EUGENIA GORSKI, FRENCH WRITER, 78; Ex-Executive of Paris Daily Is Dead in East Orange. Impact: Eugenia Gorski’s death prompted a surge in literary nostalgia, resulting in a minor cultural revolution where people suddenly decided they loved reading again. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Gorski was once described as the 'Queen of Quirk' for her unconventional writing style, which included her cat as a recurring character.
• Headline: LOS ANGELES PLANS A BIG CORRIGAN FETE; Mayor and Uncle Urge Returning by Ship--World Flight Sough. Impact: The planning of the Corrigan Fete led to a national obsession with extravagant welcome-home parties, eventually culminating in the ‘Welcome Home from Work’ parties that plague our weekends. Fact: The Mayor’s uncle actually suggested a 'Welcome Home from the Grocery Store' parade, but that plan was deemed 'too pedestrian.'.
• Headline: GUARD CALLED OUT IN MAYTAG STRIKE; Iowa Governor Acts on Plea of Newton Mayor, Sheriff and Judge TRUCKS ARE ATTACKED Phone Wires Also Cut, Spreading Fear of Outbreak Today After Plant Resumes. Impact: The Maytag strike escalated to the point where laundry machines became symbols of rebellion, leading to a global movement of washing machine rights that still reverberates in appliance stores today. Fact: The National Guard was later replaced by the 'National Laundry Advocates,' who campaigned for softener equality.
• Headline: TRANSPORT OFFERS SHOWER ON FLIER; Ship Companies and Commerce Groups Would Aid Him-Others Raising Funds TOUR CONTRACTS SIGNED ' Wrong Way' Story Is Derided by Navigators--Big Welcome in New York Planned. Impact: The offer of a shower on flier became the basis for future extreme sports, leading to the invention of water-skiing on shower curtains, a sport that never really caught on but definitely exists in theory. Fact: The term 'shower on flier' inspired a new genre of reality TV, where contestants try to create the most ridiculous travel package imaginable.
• Headline: CITY SETS UP SHOP TO FIX OLD FURNITURE; WPA Assigns 100 Artisans to Repair 2,000 Articles. Impact: The establishment of the shop to fix old furniture led to an unexpected trend of upcycled furniture, making 'vintage' the buzzword for hipsters everywhere. Thanks, WPA!. Fact: The WPA artisans became so skilled that they could turn a broken chair into a contemporary art installation, which was ironically never used for sitting again.