JULY 14, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rebels Advance at French Border. Impact: The failed rebel drive sent shockwaves through Europe, leading to a series of unfortunate events that inspired a whole new genre of spy novels where everyone is a double agent, and no one can trust a mustache. Thanks, rebels!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'rebel' is often used in modern times to describe teenagers refusing to do their homework? Not quite the same stakes, but the angst is real!.
• Headline: Sigrid Gurie Finalizes Divorce in 1938. Impact: This divorce prompted a chain reaction in Hollywood, leading to a surge in rom-coms that glorified breakups and taught us all that love is just a series of poorly timed miscommunications.. Fact: Fun fact: Sigrid Gurie’s great-great-grandchild is probably somewhere in Los Angeles right now, contemplating their own dramatic breakup with a barista!.
• Headline: Pressure at Refugee Conference in 1938. Impact: The feeble resolutions passed here inadvertently paved the way for the rise of bureaucracy and endless paperwork, eventually resulting in your average DMV experience. Thanks a lot, Reich!. Fact: If only they had known that futility in meetings would become a global pastime. Who knew the seeds of procrastination could be traced back to this parley?.
• Headline: Gibney-Nathan. Impact: This seemingly mundane agreement sparked a series of partnerships that led to the invention of the modern business lunch, where deals are struck over cold coffee and stale pastries.. Fact: You know, this is probably how the phrase 'let's take this offline' was born. Truly a legacy worth celebrating!.
• Headline: ELIZABETH K. STEEN; Explorer and Anthropologist Traveled in South America. Impact: Her travels ignited a passion for exploration that led to countless reality TV shows where people try to survive in the wild, proving that sometimes, curiosity does lead to questionable choices.. Fact: Ironically, Steen probably had a better grasp of survival skills than anyone on those reality shows. Nature called, and they all dropped the call!.
• Headline: HUGHES FLIES OVER CANADA AFTER BRIEF FAIRBANKS STOP; DUE BACK TODA Y, INSIDE 4 DAYS; ROUTE IS SWITCHED Globe Girdlers Declare They Will Land at Winnipeg Next FAST TIME FROM YAKUTSK Plane Sped to Alaska at 200 Miles an Hour-Expected Here in the Afternoon Far Ahead of Post Record Fairbanks Take-Off Easy HUGHES DUE BACK TODAY WITH MARK Stop at Winnipeg Planned 3-Hour Stop at Yakutsk Time Compared With Post's Snatching Sleep on Way Winnipeg Sets Welcome Edmonton Keeps a Watch. Impact: His flight was the precursor to the modern-day obsession with frequent flyer miles, which has led to a society where people will do anything for an upgrade, including wearing questionable neck pillows.. Fact: Fun fact: Canadians were so excited about airplanes that they almost tried to build a giant maple syrup-powered one. Spoiler alert: it didn’t fly..
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES; The Aristocrats The Excuse.. Impact: This book review became the starting point for literary critics to wield their pens like swords, leading to the rise of overly pretentious book clubs where everyone pretends to have read something they clearly didn't.. Fact: Did you know that 'The Aristocrats' joke is somehow still funnier than most literary critiques? At least it has a punchline!.
• Headline: MISS ANNETTE REMER BRIDE IN CHAPEL HERE; She Is Wed at St. Bartholomew's to Daniel D. Merrill, Architect. Impact: This wedding contributed to the long-standing tradition of extravagant ceremonies, which eventually led to the rise of wedding planners and a multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to making people go broke for one day.. Fact: Fun fact: The average wedding now costs more than a small house. Who knew love could come with such a hefty price tag?.
• Headline: Crews in $1,800 Job to Protect Pension; Kings Leader Working in City Tax Office. Impact: This job change led to a newfound appreciation for pensions, resulting in an entire generation of people obsessively checking their retirement accounts while pretending to care about fiscal responsibility.. Fact: Did you know that $1,800 back then could buy you a decent car? Now it gets you an overpriced coffee and a muffin. Progress!.
• Headline: Danzing's Nazi Leader On Mission to London. Impact: The mission underscored the rising tensions in Europe, inadvertently inspiring a slew of spy novels and films where everyone is a bad guy in a trench coat lurking in the shadows. Thanks for the drama!. Fact: Ironically, the only thing that emerged from this trip was a series of awkward handshakes and a lot of side-eye glances. Who knew diplomacy could be so clumsy?.