JULY 12, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: British Leftists Clash Over Stalin's Influence. Impact: This clash between British leftists led to a secret underground society of leftist squirrels, who believed they could influence politics through nut-based diplomacy. Who knew acorns could be so powerful?. Fact: Did you know that W. Gallacher’s influence was so strong, he could convince a cat to take a bath? Talk about power dynamics!.
• Headline: Farmers Celebrate Rate Cut in Puerto Rico. Impact: The farmers' victory sparked a nationwide trend where farmers began negotiating everything from crop prices to the weather. Soon, they were demanding lower premiums for sunshine and rain.. Fact: Did you know that in Puerto Rico, farmers once tried to negotiate with clouds? Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well..
• Headline: Birth Announcement of Von Goeben's Son. Impact: The birth of Roland von Goeben's son led to an unexpected surge in baby names inspired by historical figures, resulting in a generation of children who would go on to mispronounce 'von' at the DMV.. Fact: Fun fact: Roland von Goeben is not just a name; it’s also a very fancy way to say 'I like history but also want to sound cool.'.
• Headline: MURIEL V. ECKHOFF HAS CHURCH BRIDAL; She Is Wed to James Fergus McRee Jr.--Rev. George A. Trowbridge Officiates NUPTIALS AT ALL ANGELS Elizabeth Quackenbush Only Attendant--Couple Will Pass Summer in Bermuda Twining--Wharton. Impact: Muriel V. Eckhoff's wedding ignited a fashion revolution, where Bermuda shorts became a bridal trend, causing confusion at future weddings across the globe.. Fact: Did you know that 'All Angels' is actually the name of a trendy new wedding venue where you can get married in a cloud of angel dust? Just kidding, but it sounds nice, right?.
• Headline: 54-YEAR JOB ENDING FOR LIBRARY AIDE; Brooklyn Veteran, Buyer of 1,800,000 Books, Retiring at the Age of 68 A CRIME-STORY DEVOTEE C. E. Farrington Recalls Rebuke for His Liking for Detective Fiction. Impact: C. E. Farrington's retirement from the library resulted in an unprecedented rise in detective fiction sales, leading to a world where every book was a mystery, including the mystery of why the library's coffee always tasted burnt.. Fact: Did you know that the average library aide reads more crime stories than the average detective? Because solving crimes is way more fun than shelving books!.
• Headline: FRIML'S OPERETTA IS HEAD BY 5,000; ' The -Firefly' Is Presented at Jones Beach--Threatening Skies Reduce Crowd MARY M'COY SINGS LEAD Robert Shafer Appears in the Dubois Role--Orchestra Is Directed by Level. Impact: Muriel V. Eckhoff's operetta performance, despite weather woes, inspired a generation of stage performers to fight through bad conditions, leading to the birth of extreme theatre—where actors performed in blizzards just to get a review.. Fact: Did you know that 'The Firefly' has been performed in more weather conditions than most outdoor concerts? Yes, even during a hurricane!.
• Headline: MRS. HERRICK GIVES TIPS ON LABOR LAW; As Pro-Tem Professor She Draws on Her Experiences as Director of NLRB CALLS FOR 'PLAIN MANNERS' And Tells Summer Class That Includes Veterans of Bar 'It Is Smart to Settle' Wears an Orchid and a Smile Questions of Representation. Impact: Mrs. Herrick's tips on labor law transformed the way lawyers approached negotiations, leading to the invention of the 'smart settle' handshake, which somehow included a two-for-one coupon.. Fact: Did you know 'plain manners' is actually a euphemism for 'just try not to start a fistfight in the courtroom'?.
• Headline: Mrs. M. D. Wheelock Has a Son I Morrill;. Impact: The birth of Mrs. M. D. Wheelock's son inadvertently led to the creation of a new trend in baby names, where parents started naming their kids after their favorite kitchen appliances—because why not?. Fact: Did you know that naming kids after kitchen appliances is now a trend? Get ready for baby Toaster and little Refrigerator!.