JUNE 21, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1938 Clash Between Filipinos and Japanese Crew. Impact: This clash led to an unforeseen surge in interest in maritime law and a sudden spike in demand for 'How to Anchor Your Boat Without Getting Arrested' seminars across the Pacific. Who knew a police incident could launch a consulting industry?. Fact: Despite the tension, a year later, the Japanese would invent the inflatable boat, which is considered the world's first 'no-strings-attached' vessel..
• Headline: Search for Missing Girl in Swamplands. Impact: The search for this girl prompted a trend in adventure survival kits, which would later sell like hotcakes—because apparently, getting lost in swamps is a niche market.. Fact: The swampland search would eventually inspire the popular board game 'Swamp Scavenger,' where the objective is simply to not get eaten by alligators..
• Headline: Smith College Honors Four Remarkable Women. Impact: These honorary degrees sparked a nationwide debate about the value of education, which somehow led to a reality TV show where high school dropouts compete for honorary degrees. Truly, humanity at its finest!. Fact: One of the honorary recipients, Mrs. Eunice H. Carter, was only a few degrees away from being the world's first honorary doctor of 'How to Give a Tedious Speech.'.
• Headline: TWO SHIPS READY FOR OVERHAULING; Bethlehem Signs Contracts to Renovate the Virginia and Pennsylvania BOTH IN DRYDOCK TODAY New South American Service of the U. S. Will Get Under Way on Sept. 3. Impact: The renovations not only saved the ships but also inspired a new trend in 'vintage maritime chic' that took over coastal towns, leading to hipster shipyards everywhere.. Fact: Bethlehem Shipbuilding Corporation’s motto became 'We fix your ships, so you can forget you have a sinking feeling in your life.'.
• Headline: NEW RED ARMY PURGE DISCLOSED BY PAPER; Political Ranks Combed for Foes and Doubtful Persons. Impact: The purge prompted a wave of paranoia that swept across Russia, leading to an uptick in the sales of tinfoil hats—because who wouldn't want to protect their thoughts from the government?. Fact: Moscow Park of Culture and Rest was briefly renamed 'Moscow Park of Culture and Stress' after the purge was revealed. It had a nice ring to it, really..
• Headline: CUT IN WORK WEEK URGED AT GENEVA; A. D. Lewis Tells Labor Parley That Is Only Remedy for World Idleness PAINTS DARK U. S. PICTURE Says Millions of Children Are Underfed--The Conference Denounces Racial Bans Holds Hours Cut Essential For a Second Conference. Impact: The call for a reduced work week somehow led to an increase in meme creation, inspiring a generation of workers to post about their 'hardships' while sipping coffee in their pajamas.. Fact: A. D. Lewis would later become the poster child for work-life balance, appearing on a magazine cover next to a cat lounging in a sunbeam..
• Headline: Bermuda Assembly Acts To Stop Hotel 'Drought. Impact: This bill led to a thriving underground hotel market, where 'luxurious' accommodations became synonymous with 'we'll put a cot in your closet.'. Fact: The bill’s rush was so hasty that it was found to have been written on the back of a napkin—proof that sometimes, important legislation is just a few drinks away..
• Headline: Restaurants Aid Refugee Drive. Impact: The restaurant contribution sparked an unprecedented culinary movement, leading chefs to create dishes named after refugees, which ironically became the hottest trend in gourmet dining.. Fact: Some restaurants even began offering 'refugee specials'—meals that were actually just whatever ingredients they found in the back of the fridge..
• Headline: CHINESE INTENSIFY GUERRILLA TACTICS; Flood Subsiding, but Japanese Forces Face Sniping From Twenty-five Divisions Use of Gas Is Charged CHINESE INTENSIFY GUERRILLA TACTICS Japanese Control Timited Poppies in Full Bloom Japanese in Big Retreat Deny Sinking of Ships. Impact: The intensified guerrilla tactics led to a series of action films that glorified snipers, inadvertently sparking a global hunting competition that was never meant to happen.. Fact: The Japanese forces’ denial of sinking ships resulted in a popular meme that would last for decades: 'Did you even sink, bro?'.
• Headline: ROAD CONGRESS OPENS; 2,000 Delegates Represent Fifty Countries in Netherlands. Impact: The Road Congress brought together delegates from fifty countries, leading to an international agreement on the importance of pothole prevention—a movement that took way too long to become a thing.. Fact: The Hague has since become known for its quaint roads, with one delegate famously proclaiming, 'If we can fix potholes, we can fix the world!' while stepping into an actual pothole..