JUNE 16, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brooklyn Poly Commencement Honors Graduates. Impact: The mass graduation inadvertently sparked a global obsession with diplomas, leading to a future where everyone feels compelled to display their degrees on social media, regardless of actual educational merit.. Fact: Did you know that honorary degrees are like participation trophies for adults? Just a fancy way of saying, 'We couldn’t find anything else to give you.'.
• Headline: Nazi Regime Executes Spies in 1938. Impact: This tragic event serves as a grim reminder that oppression breeds more oppression, eventually leading to the downfall of the very regimes that instigate such terror. History has a way of biting back.. Fact: The Nazis had a penchant for elaborate excuses for violence. If only they had spent that creativity on actual governance instead of tyranny..
• Headline: De Lazslo's Art Collection Auctioned. Impact: The sale of De Lazlo's paintings paved the way for the modern art market, inadvertently causing future art collectors to overpay for what looks like a toddler's finger painting.. Fact: Ever wonder why a banana duct-taped to a wall sold for $120,000? Blame De Lazlo's paintings for igniting the 'art is subjective' debate..
• Headline: Corpus Christi Mass Today. Impact: The celebration of Corpus Christi has led to a long-standing tradition of religious observance, which has inadvertently created a booming market for fancy church hats and baked goods.. Fact: Corpus Christi is one of the few holidays where you can have your cake and eat it too... unless you forget to bring it to church..
• Headline: SUDETEN DEMANDS BASIS FOR PARLEYS; Czechs Ready to Negotiate on Memorandum as Well as Nationalities Statute HENLEIN POINTS MODIFIED His Aides Themselves Frown on Reich Radio Propaganda--Reserves to Quit Border Nature of the Complaints Demands Are Modified Indicated Sudeten Demands. Impact: These negotiations were the beginning of a complex web of diplomatic entanglements in Europe, eventually leading to the messy situation known as World War II. Thanks for that, guys.. Fact: The Sudetenland was like the hot potato of Europe at the time. Everyone wanted it, but nobody wanted to deal with the consequences..
• Headline: Dr. Miriam Van Waters Honored. Impact: Her recognition inspired future generations of women in leadership roles, though it would take a few more decades for society to actually catch up.. Fact: Dr. Van Waters was a pioneer in her field, proving that sometimes it takes women a few hundred years to get the applause they deserve... just like now..
• Headline: REBELS PUSH AHEAD IN THREE SECTORS; BOMB FOUR VESSELS; Cross Mijares River in Drive on Valencia--Press Clean-Up of 'Lost Division'n' STRIKE IN PENARROYA ZONE They Blast Way to Blazquez--British and French Ships Struck at Valencia New Gains by Rebels Cross the Mijares River Loyalists Yield Blazquez REBELS PUSH AHEAD IN THREE SECTORSS Barcelona Repels Raiders Four Foreign Ships Bombed 300 Flee "Lost" Division Castellon Hails Rebels Castellon's Loss Conceded REBELS ON OFFENSIVE IN THREE SECTORS. Impact: The ongoing conflict not only changed the landscape of Spain but also inspired countless war movies and novels, creating a genre dedicated to glorifying chaos.. Fact: When in doubt about history, just remember: every battle has its own soundtrack, and the rebels sure knew how to play the hits!.
• Headline: Lady Foresters Elect. Impact: The election of the Lady Foresters marked a key moment in women's organization, paving the way for future groups to hold meetings with more snacks and less serious business.. Fact: The Lady Foresters were basically the original Girl Scouts, but with less cookie-selling and more secret handshakes..
• Headline: THE SCREEN IN REVIEW; ' Cocoanut Grove,' a Fair-Plus Musical in Which Fred MacMurray Uses Trailer, Shown at Paramount-'Men Are Such Fools,' at the Strand At the Strand. Impact: The movie musical's success set off a chain reaction, leading to decades of musicals that would make even the most tone-deaf cringe.. Fact: Fred MacMurray was in more musicals than you can shake a stick at, proving that sometimes Hollywood just really wanted to see people sing and dance, regardless of talent..