JUNE 13, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Finkelstein Discusses Decline of Powers. Impact: If hearts really hold the world's future, then we should probably start investing in emotional therapy and meditation retreats. Imagine a world where politicians are replaced by therapists. Ah, utopia!. Fact: In 1933, the only thing more fragile than political powers might have been the egos of those in charge. Spoiler alert: they didn't get better with age..
• Headline: Marie Nunan: A Remarkable Figure. Impact: Marie Nunan's name echoed through time, as every subsequent 'Marie' felt the pressure to live up to her mystery. Sorry, Marie Curie!. Fact: Marie Nunan’s existence proves that sometimes, less is more. This headline is the epitome of 'I have nothing to say, but I still want the spotlight.'.
• Headline: FRANCIS T. STAGER; Director of Public Safety in Nutley, N. J., Is Dead. Impact: Francis T. Stager’s passing left a void in Nutley that sparked a neighborhood watch movement—ironically creating a bunch of nosy neighbors who now run the town.. Fact: Francis T. Stager’s job was so essential that it took decades for Nutley to realize that 'public safety' was more than just a fancy title for 'keeping the donuts safe.'.
• Headline: PARTY AT ACTORS' HOME; Broadway entertainers Give Show at Annual Luncheon. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction of extravagant parties, leading to an influx of Broadway musicals about the endless pursuit of brunch. It was a delightful disaster.. Fact: The only thing more dramatic than Broadway actors is their luncheons. I mean, have you ever seen one of them argue over the last croissant?.
• Headline: GRADUATION WEEK BEGINS AT FORDHAM; Baccalaureate Mass Is Sung by Three Members of the Class of 1933.. Impact: The success of this graduation week led to an uptick in parents considering emotional support animals to cope with their children's new-found freedom. Who knew a cap and gown could cause such chaos?. Fact: Fordham's graduation ceremony in 1933 was so intense that they had to hire extra security to keep parents from sneaking in to take selfies with their newly graduated kids..
• Headline: DR. JOHN HORN; Specialist, 82, Was the Inventor of an Artificial Eardrum. Impact: Dr. Horn’s invention led to the eardrum becoming the most misunderstood organ in history—it’s still getting blamed for people’s bad decisions to this day.. Fact: Dr. John Horn's artificial eardrum was so good that it made people wonder why they ever had to listen to their in-laws in the first place..
• Headline: FROST QUITS AT AMHERST; Poet Voices Doubt of Value as a 'No-Time Teacher'. Impact: Robert Frost's resignation caused a ripple in the literary world, leading to a sudden influx of poets declaring they too were 'not teachers'—only to later teach poetry to confused college students.. Fact: When Robert Frost quit, he probably thought, 'Who needs a classroom? I can just write cryptic poems that confuse generations instead!'.
• Headline: Sybill Ann Burne a Bride. Impact: Sybill Ann Burne's wedding sparked a trend of extravagant weddings, which eventually led to the creation of reality TV shows that turned marriage into a competitive sport.. Fact: The marriage of Sybill Ann Burne was so memorable that it inspired countless Pinterest boards filled with things like 'rustic chic' and 'over-the-top floral arrangements.'.
• Headline: HARVARD FLIERS WIN IN AVIATION CONTESTS; Kenyon College Next, Amherst Third at Southampton. Impact: Harvard's victory in aviation contests inspired a generation of students to believe they could actually 'fly' through their exams by doing as little as possible.. Fact: In 1933, winning an aviation contest at Harvard was considered the ultimate flex—right up there with inventing the next great gadget or having a cool mustache..