JUNE 2, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: New York State Parrot Ban Enforced. Impact: The State Parrot Ban led to the rise of underground parrot smuggling rings, giving birth to a new generation of rebellious bird enthusiasts. Who knew that feathers could stir such havoc?. Fact: Parrots are known for their ability to mimic human speech. Imagine if they could also mimic your bad decisions—now that's a party trick!.
• Headline: British Name Bridges as Privy Council Clerk. Impact: The appointment of the son of a late poet laureate to the Cabinet set off a series of events where poetry began infiltrating politics, leading to the infamous 'Haiku Bills' of the 1950s. Because why not make legislation more confusing?. Fact: The only thing more convoluted than modern poetry is modern politics. Just ask any poet who tried to get a job in D.C..
• Headline: Municipal Bonds Sold in 1938 Auction. Impact: The municipal bond offerings created a frenzy in the banking world that eventually led to the invention of the 'money tree.' Spoiler alert: it didn’t actually grow money, but it did inspire a lot of bad investment advice.. Fact: Joplin, Missouri, is known for its rich musical history. So, while the bankers were crunching numbers, the musicians were busy dreaming up the next big hit!.
• Headline: TRUST FILES NEW ISSUE; Keystone Custodian Funds to Sell 2,067,479 Certificates. Impact: The issuance of new trust fund certificates inadvertently led to an entire generation of financial advisors who could impress you with their jargon but had no idea how to balance a checkbook.. Fact: In the world of finance, a 'certificate' sounds fancy, but it’s really just a glorified piece of paper. Kind of like your diploma!.
• Headline: HIGHER LIVING PLANE IS URGED FOR SOUTH; Hopkins's Address Is Read at University of South Carolina. Impact: The call for a higher living standard in the South sparked a trend of Southern universities competing to be the most lavish, eventually leading to the creation of ‘Southern Comfort Degrees’—because nothing says education like a cocktail!. Fact: Southern hospitality is a real thing, which means you might get a warm welcome, but don’t expect them to share their sweet tea recipe..
• Headline: FAITH IN U. S. IDEAL URGED ON ALUMNI; 3 University Presidents and Senator O'Mahoney Join in Appeal at Columbia FREEDOM HELD BULWARK Dr. Butler, Seymour of Yale, Sproul of California Give Views at Luncheon. Impact: The alumni appeal for faith in U.S. ideals inadvertently inspired a nationwide campaign for ironic bumper stickers, leading to a surge in snarky slogans that resonate with both cynics and idealists alike.. Fact: The only thing that spreads faster than alumni newsletters is the gossip about who showed up at the reunion. Spoiler: it's never the one you want to see..
• Headline: KILLS BILL AIMED AT JAPAN; Canadian ParliamentVotes Down Second Attempt at Exclusion. Impact: The Canadian Parliament's decision to kill the bill aimed at excluding Japanese immigrants turned into a pivotal moment for cultural exchange. Little did they know that sushi would soon dominate menus across North America.. Fact: Canada is known for its politeness, but they sure know how to throw a good party—especially if there's sushi involved!.
• Headline: MGR. BELFORD HONORED; Dinner Commemorates His Golden Jubilee as Priest. Impact: Mgr. Belford’s golden jubilee as a priest sparked a series of lavish celebrations across the country, leading to an increase in cake consumption that researchers are still trying to quantify.. Fact: Golden jubilee celebrations often feature cake, which is great, because nothing says 'sacred service' like a sugar rush!.
• Headline: PROF. WEBER SPEAKS TO F. & M. GRADUATES; 139 Men Receive Degrees at Final Exercises. Impact: Professor Weber's commencement speech inadvertently ignited a trend of increasingly elaborate graduation ceremonies, culminating in the infamous 'Parade of Caps' that led to a nationwide shortage of mortarboards.. Fact: Graduation caps were originally designed to keep the scholars' brains from flying away. No one told them it wouldn't work for their job prospects..
• Headline: SAYRE MAKES PLEA FOR CHRISTIAN WAY; He Tells Bryn Mawr Graduates It Offers 'Only Direction' for 'Permanent. Solutions' BRONXVILLE GIRL HONORED European Fellowship Awarded to Miss Dewilda Naramore--$97,000 Gifts Reported. Impact: Sayre's plea for a Christian way during graduation ceremonies led to a spike in students converting to different faiths just to spice up their college experience. Nothing like a little existential crisis to cap off four years!. Fact: Bryn Mawr is all about women’s education, which means their alumni are likely to become powerful leaders—just as long as they don’t trip over their robes on the way to the podium!.