MAY 31, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Win Clarkson Scholarships at Commencement. Impact: Winning a Clarkson Scholarship unknowingly set off a chain reaction where students felt they could actually afford to attend college, resulting in an entire generation believing higher education was a possibility, thus creating the student loan crisis. Fact: Did you know that scholarships can sometimes be like unicorns? They sound magical until you realize they don't actually cover your ramen noodle budget?.
• Headline: DANIEL VAIL. Impact: Daniel Vail’s name being in the headlines sparked an underground movement of people named Daniel who suddenly thought they were famous, leading to the first-ever 'Daniel Appreciation Day'. Fact: Fun fact: If you throw a rock in a crowd, there's a 50% chance you’ll hit someone named Dan. That’s just science.
• Headline: Poison Tablets Kill Child. Impact: The tragedy of a child’s death from poison tablets initiated a trend of parents becoming overly paranoid about what their kids were ingesting, leading to the invention of the 'Parenting GPS'—a device that tracks snacks. Fact: According to studies, 9 out of 10 parents will panic at the sight of anything that resembles a pill, even if it's just an Advil.
• Headline: 9 DROPPED BY WPA IN THEATRE INQUIRY; Circus Aides Suspended UntilShortages in Box Offices Are Cleared Up Circus Sponsors to Act Total Shortages Put at $1,000 9 DROPPED BY WPA IN THEATRE INQUIRY. Impact: The WPA dropping nine people from the theater inquiry led to a movement known as 'The Great Arts Discontent', where artists realized they could just perform in their living rooms for their cats, thus revolutionizing the concept of 'intimate performances'. Fact: Did you know that box office shortages often mean someone misplaced the popcorn? But who cares, theater is overrated anyway.
• Headline: WIRE IS CHIEF CLUE IN LEVINE SLAYING; Hunt for Kidnapper Redoubled Since Finding of Boy's Body-Funeral Service Held Wire Is Only Tangible Clue Organs to Be Examined WIRE IS CHIEF CLUE IN LEVINE SLAYING. Impact: The investigation into the Levine slaying acted like a spark that ignited a true-crime podcast revolution, leading to millions of armchair detectives with too much time and not enough skills. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'true crime' was coined shortly after someone realized 'boring crime' just didn’t have the same ring to it.
• Headline: PHYSICS CONFERENCE OPENED IN WARSAW; World Meeting on New Theories Hears Paper by Bohr. Impact: The Warsaw physics conference inadvertently inspired scientists to realize they could simply argue about theories over beer instead of in formal settings, leading to the 'Pub Science' movement. Fact: Did you know that most groundbreaking theories in physics were probably conceived over a pint? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: RARE BOOK AT PRINCETON; Ancient Arabian Medical Work Lent by Robert Garrett. Impact: The rare Arabic medical book lent to Princeton triggered a quest for knowledge that led to the establishment of 'Book Clubs for the Culturally Curious', where people argue about the meaning of life while sipping overpriced lattes. Fact: Fun fact: Rare books are often so rare because they've been locked away from the unworthy—like the secrets of the universe or your best friend's Netflix password.