APRIL 26, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senator Lewis Advocates Naval Expansion 1938. Impact: Senator Lewis's endorsement of the Big Navy Bill led to a chain reaction of naval arms races, eventually resulting in a very crowded ocean and the invention of the world's first floating traffic jam.. Fact: Senator Lewis probably thought expanding the navy would make us safer... little did he know it also made us better at avoiding ships in the parking lot!.
• Headline: Newspapers Unite for Strategic Promotions. Impact: The unity achieved by newspapers paved the way for sensational headlines, leading to the rise of clickbait. Thanks to this, readers today are subjected to endless articles about '5 Ways Your Cat Can Predict the Future.'. Fact: Research emphasized by W. E. Thomson? That's just a fancy way of saying they were trying to figure out how to sell more ads by any means necessary..
• Headline: MUSIC FETE OPENED BY EASTMAN SCHOOL; Its Symphony Band Plays New American Works. Impact: The Eastman School’s music festival helped popularize American compositions, leading to the eventual rise of pop music. Thanks a lot, Eastman, for giving us reality TV theme songs.. Fact: The Eastman School’s Symphony Band played new American works, which probably sounded suspiciously like someone trying to play the piano while having a midlife crisis..
• Headline: India Plans Office Here To Promote U. S. Trade. Impact: India's trade office in the U.S. was a spark that ignited the global outsourcing phenomenon, eventually leading to your phone calls being answered in a different time zone while you're trying to get tech support.. Fact: Who knew that an office could be so influential? It was like opening a door to a whole new world of remote work and confused accents!.
• Headline: MRS. MARGARET M. KEYSER. Impact: Margaret M. Keyser’s public mention likely inspired thousands of parents to name their daughters Margaret, resulting in an unintentional resurgence of the name in the early 21st century.. Fact: Being referenced in the headlines is a great way to become a household name… or at least a name that gets confused with every other Margaret in the phone book!.
• Headline: MACGREGOR MITCHELL; St. Andrews University Rector Dies in Scotland at 63. Impact: MacGregor Mitchell's death and the subsequent mourning at St. Andrews triggered a series of emotional eulogies that became the template for all future overly dramatic memorials. Cue the bagpipes.. Fact: Dying at 63 might seem young today, but back then, it was practically ancient. They probably thought he’d lived a full life while we now have people in their 90s still running marathons!.
• Headline: REICH DENIES REPORT IT PLANS A BIG NAVY; Accord With Britain Allows for Ample Expansion, It Is Said. Impact: The Reich’s denial of navy expansion plans was a classic case of 'You can’t see what I’m doing under this giant cloak of secrecy.' This denial led to the world believing there was nothing to worry about, right before the storm hit.. Fact: Nations denying naval expansion is like a toddler saying they didn’t eat the cookies when there are crumbs all over their face. Spoiler alert: they did..