APRIL 25, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stopford W. W. Brooke Passes Away. Impact: Stopford W. W. Brooke's death led to a dramatic increase in Unitarian church attendance, as people flocked to hear what he would have said if he were alive. Spoiler: it included a lot of thoughtful musings and less about the afterlife.. Fact: Did you know that Unitarianism believes in the inherent worth of every person? Well, they probably should have put more effort into getting their ministers to stick around longer..
• Headline: Maroon Six Sale Suspended in 1938. Impact: The halted sale of the Maroon Six resulted in a major increase in the popularity of amateur marooning, leading to a brief surge in people trying to live off the land using only a can of beans and a questionable survival guide.. Fact: Fun fact: The Maroon Six was once a popular club, but now it’s just a sad reminder that sometimes, things just don’t sell. Like that avocado toast in your fridge..
• Headline: Thomas E. Lescher's Legacy. Impact: Thomas E. Lescher's legacy was forever changed by the internet, which led to countless memes and conspiracy theories about his life. Turns out, he was just a guy trying to get by.. Fact: Did you know that Thomas E. Lescher was known for his extraordinary ability to blend into the background? Kind of like that one cousin everyone has who shows up to family gatherings but no one really knows why..
• Headline: Major League Baseball; National League American League Semi-Pro Baseball. Impact: The National League vs American League game became the birthplace of a rivalry that would inspire countless sitcoms and baseball-themed movies, with a side of popcorn and nostalgia.. Fact: Did you know that baseball was actually invented as a way to keep people from talking about politics? Spoiler alert: it didn't work..
• Headline: Idleness Held Church Problem. Impact: The sermon on idleness sparked a movement where people suddenly realized they could be productive while doing absolutely nothing – a skill that would later evolve into binge-watching.. Fact: Idleness, the church's problem? Please. It's actually the world's best-kept secret for avoiding adulting. You're welcome..
• Headline: SPAN HONORS MAIMED GIRL; Passaic Rail Overpass Named for Child Who Lost. Leg. Impact: Naming an overpass after a maimed girl resulted in a surge of overpass-naming ceremonies, leading to a nationwide contest to see who could name the most obscure things after unfortunate events.. Fact: Did you know that overpasses are the new stars of the urban landscape? Next up, a reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Overpasses.'.
• Headline: RAMOND J. BIRKETT. Impact: Raymond J. Birkett's life story was completely overshadowed by his name, leading to a conspiracy theory that he might have been a secret agent due to the mystery surrounding him.. Fact: Fun fact: Raymond J. Birkett is the perfect name for a character in a spy novel. Too bad he was just a regular guy..
• Headline: HENRY W. HAMMES. Impact: Hy W. Hammes's existence led to a bizarre series of coincidences where people named Hy started forming clubs all over the country, leading to the creation of the Hy Club – a place to be unremarkably average together.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'Hy W. Hammes' three times in a row, a mediocre life decision appears? Just kidding, that’s just your reflection..
• Headline: NEW HAVEN 'COLONY' WATCHES FOR INDIANS; Armed Men 'Guard' Church at Tercentenary Services. Impact: The armed men guarding the church during the tercentenary services sparked a nationwide trend of overzealous security, leading to church services becoming more like live-action role-playing events.. Fact: Did you know that the armed guards were just trying to keep the peace? Because nothing says 'spiritual awakening' like a good security detail..