MARCH 15, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Subway Gem Heist Sentencing in 1938. Impact: The sentencing of 'FENCE' for disposing of subway loot initiated a chain reaction that ultimately led to the development of a new subway security system, which ironically became a haven for pickpockets, as they realized the police would be too busy managing the new cameras to notice their sneaky antics. Fact: Did you know that subway security systems were once considered a luxury? Now they're a necessity, much like overpriced lattes during rush hour!.
• Headline: School Board Reviews Eye Injury Case. Impact: The school board's review of the pupil's eye loss case sparked a nationwide campaign for better school safety regulations. However, it also inadvertently led to the invention of the world's first protective eye goggles for students who were just trying to read in peace. Fact: Eye injuries in schools are no joke—unless you're a kid trying to avoid math class. Then it's just a clever excuse!.
• Headline: Bowes Auto Stolen, Recovered. Impact: The theft and recovery of Bowes' auto prompted a new movement in car security that involved GPS tracking devices. Ironically, this led to a spike in carjacking attempts as thieves realized they could now just 'borrow' a car and return it later—like a twisted version of 'borrowing' a pen. Fact: Car thefts were so common back then that some people just started using bicycles instead—except they didn't realize those were also prime targets for thieves!.
• Headline: LEHMAN RELENTS ON INSURANCE BILL; Governor Won't Let It Prolong Session of Legislature, but Will Insist on a Vote SEEKS TO AVOID POLITICS Wind-Up Delay Threatened by St. Patrick's Day Exodus, Which Leaders Try to Halt Would Avert Political Issue St. Patrick and Adjournment Mayor Hit on Pension Bills. Impact: Lehman’s decision to avoid politics during the insurance bill drama actually encouraged more politicians to act like they were avoiding politics, leading to a bizarre trend of politicians giving public speeches about how they weren't going to talk about politics. It was a political paradox!. Fact: Avoiding politics is like avoiding chocolate at a party—it's almost impossible, and someone will definitely call you out on it!.
• Headline: HOSFORD TO QUIT APRIL 30; Coal Board Chairmanship Is Expected to Go to A.W. Gauger. Impact: Hosford's resignation from the Coal Board Chairmanship led to the rise of A.W. Gauger, whose innovative approach inadvertently caused a minor coal shortage, leading to an underground black market where people traded coal like it was gold. Literally. Fact: Coal was once a hot commodity—literally and figuratively! Who knew that warmth could turn into a valuable bargaining chip?.
• Headline: LEHMAN SIGNS REOUX BILL; New Law Permits Annulment Suit if Either Party Is Resident. Impact: The signing of the Reoux bill allowed for annulment suits to be filed, which resulted in a sudden increase in divorce lawyers, who promptly started offering their services at wedding expos. It was a win-win for everyone...except the couples!. Fact: Marriage licenses were once harder to get than a good cup of coffee, but now, divorce lawyers are everywhere like Starbucks!.
• Headline: WITNESS SAYS HE SAW BRIDE BEATEN BY RYAN; Chauffeur Also Testifies That He Found Patrolman Sober Only on Two Occasions. Impact: The witness testimony about the bride being beaten led to an increase in awareness about domestic violence, prompting a nationwide movement for better support systems for victims. It also inspired a popular true crime podcast series that, ironically, trivialized the very issue it sought to address. Fact: True crime stories are so captivating that they often overshadow the real-life tragedies behind them—it's like a bad soap opera that nobody wants to turn off.
• Headline: 3 PLAY CONTESTANTS WIN $1,500 AWARDS; Philip Freund of New York, the Author of 'Fire Bringers,' to Have One of Fellowships. Impact: The $1,500 awards for play contestants inadvertently encouraged more playwrights to submit their works, leading to a theatrical renaissance that produced some truly awful plays, proving once again that not all art is good art. Fact: Writing a hit play is like hitting the lottery—except the odds are worse, and you can't cash it in for a million bucks!.
• Headline: STRIKE TIES UP 26 SHIPS; Longshoremen Refuse to Load or Unload Craft at Los Angeles. Impact: The longshoremen's strike that tied up 26 ships initiated a series of labor movements that eventually led to the standardization of labor rights, but it also made it very difficult for people to get their online shopping delivered on time decades later. Thanks a lot, longshoremen!. Fact: Strikes are like the world's worst traffic jam: nobody's going anywhere, and everyone's just getting angrier by the minute!.