MARCH 11, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cecil Henry Polhill's Missionary Legacy. Impact: Polhill's missionary work inspired countless others, which eventually led to the global proliferation of 'I went to Cambridge' bumper stickers.. Fact: Did you know that being part of the 'Cambridge University Seven' was basically the 19th-century version of being in a boy band? Minus the singing, of course..
• Headline: New Schools Urgently Needed in Bronx. Impact: This admission led to the endless cycle of bureaucratic delays, which eventually resulted in the invention of the phrase 'waiting for the school board'—the last refuge of procrastinators everywhere.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more painful than a city hearing is listening to someone try to justify the lack of school buildings while simultaneously avoiding eye contact..
• Headline: List of Columbia Prizes for School Periodicals. Impact: The establishment of these prizes spawned a generation of competitive school newspapers, which later led to the rise of the phrase 'fake news' when they started reporting on cafeteria food.. Fact: Did you know that winning a Columbia Prize is like winning an Oscar but for kids who dream of being journalists instead of movie stars? Spoiler: there are fewer red carpets involved..
• Headline: SUPPLIES OYSTERS, WINE; Smathers Sends New Jersey Products to Each Senator. Impact: This event marked the beginning of politicians thinking that sending food gifts could win over votes, leading to the now-common practice of lobbying with cookies and donuts.. Fact: Fun fact: Apparently, oysters and wine were the 1930s equivalent of sending a heartfelt 'thank you' card—because who wouldn't want to be wooed with seafood?.
• Headline: Barbara Trowbridge Will Become Bride Of K. G. Rafferty, Yale Senior, in Summer. Impact: This wedding announcement caused a ripple effect through the social fabric of Yale, leading to the legendary 'Trowbridge-Rafferty Effect' where undergrads suddenly started caring about their GPA to impress future spouses.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for summer weddings is so that the couple can avoid having to pay for winter heating bills? Priorities!.
• Headline: WPA Art Directory Issued. Impact: The issuance of this directory inadvertently set off a nationwide treasure hunt for obscure artists, leading to the discovery of several modern-day 'masters' who were actually just really good at finger painting.. Fact: Fun fact: The WPA Art Directory was basically the Yelp for artists before Yelp was even a twinkle in the internet's eye. 'Would recommend this mural painter to a friend!'.
• Headline: ' Cinderella in Modern Dress' Style Show Is Staged as Benefit for Scholarship Fund. Impact: This event sparked a trend of fairy tale-themed fundraisers, leading future generations to don glass slippers and tiaras at the most unexpected charity events.. Fact: Did you know that if Cinderella had simply invested in her own fashion line, she could have saved a fortune on those pesky midnight curfews?.
• Headline: ECUADOR FREES 2 CRITICS; Both Had Been Held in Connection With Alleged Plot. Impact: The release of these critics marked a pivotal moment in Ecuador's history, leading to a slow but steady increase in the number of people who thought it was safe to express their opinions without fear of imprisonment.. Fact: Fun fact: In political history, the phrase 'alleged plot' usually means the government is just as confused as the rest of us about what is actually going on..
• Headline: MISS ROBINA TOWNES ENGAGED TO MARRY; Connecticut Girl Will Be Wed to Richard E. Shoemaker, Yale Student, in June Strack--Dejonge. Impact: This engagement set off a chain reaction of matchmaking attempts throughout Connecticut, leading to the rise of awkward blind dates and the need for more ice cream shops to handle the heartbreak.. Fact: Did you know that engagements are like social media posts? Everyone pretends to be happy for you while secretly wondering when the next breakup will be?.