MARCH 10, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Showdown on Reorganization Proposals. Impact: If only they had compromised, we might have avoided a future where every Senate showdown involves more drama than a soap opera. Instead, we just got the usual gridlock that leads to endless re-runs of congressional hearings.. Fact: The Senate has been called 'the world's greatest deliberative body'—which is funny, because most deliberations end with a collective shrug and a coffee break..
• Headline: Joseph Moresco: A Notable Figure. Impact: Joseph Moresco's name will echo through history, mainly because it sounds like a character from a bad mob movie. Who knew a simple name could inspire so many cringe-worthy plots?. Fact: The name 'Moresco' sounds like it could be a fancy Italian dish. If only it were as appetizing as it sounds!.
• Headline: Legislators Accelerate Bill Clean-Up Efforts. Impact: The flurry of legislative clean-up might just be the reason your local congressperson now spends more time in the office than at home. Thanks to this, we now have more bills than ever that no one understands.. Fact: Legislators and their ‘speed clean-up’ efforts have inspired more procrastination than your average college student. Who knew governance could be so similar to cramming for finals?.
• Headline: M'WHITE OFF TO IRELAND; New Envoy to Rome Will Spend Short Time at Home. Impact: M'White's trip to Ireland could have been the catalyst for a new wave of diplomatic relations. Or maybe just a really awkward pub crawl that ended in a karaoke disaster.. Fact: You know you're important when you get a fancy title like 'Envoy.' Most people just settle for 'that guy who knows where the good coffee is.'.
• Headline: U. S. STEEL BRANCH IN MEXICO GIVES UP; Increased Tariffs and Surtax on Imports Said to Make Business Impossible OTHERS MAY FOLLOW SUIT Embassy Seeks a Compromise-Oil Wage Injunction Arouses Resentment. Impact: The collapse of U.S. Steel's operations in Mexico could be the reason we have to pay extra for every single item that comes from south of the border. Who knew tariffs could lead to 'inflation' becoming a household word?. Fact: Tariffs are like that person who always shows up at parties uninvited, making everything awkward and expensive..
• Headline: VARIATION IN RATES FOR POWER LISTED; Federal Board Finds Difference of 100% to 200% in Charges for Same Quantities HIGH BILL HERE IS CITED Survey Lists $3.62 Paid for 250 Kw.-Hrs. in Tacoma, Against $12.75 in Queens. Impact: This power rate variation might just be why we all have that one friend who complains about their electric bill more than their love life. Thanks to this, energy companies have learned to keep us guessing.. Fact: If you think your electric bill is shocking, you should see the rates in places where they still use candles!.
• Headline: COOKE MADE HEAD OF SHIPPERS' BODY; ' Private Versus Government' Rail Operation Held Most Important Pending Issue INTERSTATE TRUCKS CITED Difficulties of Ship and Rail Lines Seen as Among the Problems Facing Group. Impact: Cooke becoming the head of the shippers' body may have inadvertently led to the rise of modern-day shipping disasters—because who doesn’t love a good logistics nightmare?. Fact: The debate over private vs. government operations is basically just adults playing 'who's better at making a mess' with billions of dollars..
• Headline: MISTAKE ON GERSON ADMITTED BY ISAACS; He Defends the Selection as Worthy, but Says He Failed to Anticipate Reaction CLUB CENSURE VOTE FAILS Republican Group Hears Him State Case in Surprise Visit, Then Defeats Resolution Wanted All Viewpoints MISTAKE ON GERSON ADMITTED BY ISAACS Sees No Bar to Communists First Question on Communism City Welfare His First Aim. Impact: Isaacs' blunder with Gerson could have been the start of a long lineage of political missteps that led to modern-day Twitter rants. History really does repeat itself in the form of public embarrassment.. Fact: Political mistakes are like bad haircuts—everyone notices, but only a few have the guts to say something until it's too late..
• Headline: BRIDGES DENOUNCES 'HITLERISM' IN TVA; INQUIRY IS DEBATED; Senator Calls Lilienthal a 'Fuehrer' and the Agency a 'Rotten Outfit' ITS FRIENDS STRIKE BACK Norris, Insisting Congressional Study Would Be 'Biased,' Presses for F. T. C. BRIDGES DENOUNCES 'HITLERISM' IN TVA Kentuckian Differs as to "Old" Sees $10,000,000 Unexplained. Impact: Bridges denouncing 'Hitlerism' in TVA might have been the spark that ignited a thousand debates about government overreach—because who doesn’t love a dramatic showdown involving names we all wish we could forget?. Fact: When politicians start throwing around terms like 'Fuehrer,' you know the debate has escalated to 'family dinner level' tension..
• Headline: FISH POISONS NAVY MESS; Nineteen Made Seriously III in Caribbean War Games. Impact: The fish poisoning incident could have led to a future where every naval exercise comes with a disclaimer: 'Warning: May contain fish.' Who knew that seafood could be a biohazard?. Fact: If you think cooking fish is hard, try doing it in a military setting without causing a health crisis! Talk about an 'unappetizing' battle..