JANUARY 27, 1938

Full News Archive

• Headline: Air Clipper Returns Due to Mechanical Issues. Impact: Had the Air Clipper not turned back, it might have prompted a new trend of skydiving enthusiasts who believed they could just parachute out of mechanical failures. Who knows? The skydiving industry may have peaked in the 1940s instead of the 1980s.. Fact: Air travel was still a novelty in the 1930s, so this mechanical trouble was probably just a pilot's way of saying, 'Nope, not today!'.
• Headline: Chinese Raids Stymie Japanese Advances. Impact: If the Chinese raids hadn't stalled the Japanese forces, we could have seen a much different map of Asia today. Who knows? Maybe instead of sushi and ramen, we'd be eating dumplings delivered by ninjas.. Fact: This conflict was so intense that it could make even a samurai reconsider his career choices. Talk about a tough job market!.
• Headline: PROFITS LEVY HIT; It Curbs Accumulation of Reserves Needed, Senate Critics Say. Impact: The backlash against the profits levy might have sparked a secret society of rich people clinging to their cash, leading to an underground economy of luxury goods traded for the finest cheeses and rarest wines.. Fact: Senate critics probably thought they could just wish away taxes. If only it worked that way, right?.
• Headline: WALTER S. BALLOU; Former President of Rubber Company Dies, 88. Impact: Walter S. Ballou's death may have inspired a surge in rubber innovation, leading to the invention of bouncy castles a few decades earlier than expected. What a world that would have been!. Fact: Ballou was 88 years old. He lived long enough to see rubber become a household staple—too bad he didn't live to see it become a playground favorite!.
• Headline: MRS. WATSON BRIDE IN HOME CEREMONY; Daughter of Edward Clarkson Potter Jr. Is Married Here to Albert E. Heymann. Impact: Mrs. Watson's wedding could have inadvertently inspired a new trend in home ceremonies, leading to a world where everyone thought it was okay to get married in their living rooms. 'I do' would become a common phrase in IKEA.. Fact: Home ceremonies are great until someone forgets to send the invitation. Imagine the awkwardness of crashing a wedding where the bride is also the caterer!.
• Headline: SENATORS REPORT BIG NAVY FUND BILL; $549,227,842 Measure, $32,348 Above House Total, Is Submitted by Committee. Impact: The senators' navy fund bill may have led to a newfound obsession with naval-themed board games, possibly resulting in the world's first maritime Monopoly. Sea battles would have taken a whole new meaning!. Fact: That $549 million could buy a lot of rubber ducks for the navy. Just think of the budget meetings filled with laughter as they debated the merits of bath toys versus battleships!.
• Headline: PARAMOUNT EARNS $6,030,000 IN YEAR; Net Above $6,012,000 in '36, When $2,000,000 Inventory Credit Was Included. Impact: If Paramount had not earned that $6 million, we might have seen an entirely different landscape of cinema, potentially leading to the rise of small-budget indie films starring cats. Hooray for feline stardom!. Fact: Earning a little over $6 million in 1937 was a big deal! Today, that might just cover the cost of the popcorn at a blockbuster premiere..
• Headline: RANCOR FORESEEN ON ZEELAND'S PLAN; Even London and Paris Are Not Expected to Back Belgian's Economic Report in Full. Impact: If Chamberlain's economic report had received full support, Belgium might have emerged as a leading economic power, leading to an annual festival celebrating chocolate and waffles worldwide. Who wouldn't want that?. Fact: Rancor in politics often leads to great drama—like a soap opera, but with more berets and less crying. Just another day at the office, right?.