DECEMBER 6, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Prince Charles of Belgium in England. Impact: Prince Charles’s quest for love inspired a wave of royal matchmaking services across Europe, which ultimately led to the highly successful reality show 'Royal Matchmaker,' where eligible royals compete for love and a chance to wear a crown—because who needs a personality when you have a title?. Fact: Gossip is the royal currency; just ask any tabloid journalist. They practically have a direct line to the throne!.
• Headline: Youth Arrests Following Detective Robbery. Impact: This incident sparked a national debate on police weaponry, leading to a series of laws that eventually resulted in 'Cops and Robbers' becoming a popular board game, where kids learned that stealing a cop's weapon is just as fun as it sounds—thanks, Brooklyn!. Fact: In the world of crime, getting caught is just part of the game. 'Three youths' sounds like a new boy band on the rise, doesn't it?.
• Headline: CROP NEWS IMPRINT SEEN IN WHEAT PIT; Unfavorable Yield Reports From Argentina Dominate Week's Moves. Impact: Unfavorable yield reports from Argentina led to a global wheat shortage, causing a spike in artisanal bread prices that resulted in the rise of gluten-free diets, ultimately leading to the hipster bread revolution. Thank you, Argentina!. Fact: The first hipster baker was actually a farmer who decided that regular bread was too mainstream—now he’s selling gluten-free air for $20 a bag..
• Headline: SCHRINER EXCELS AS AMERICANS WIN; Tallies Twice in the First Period to Down Red Wings by 2-1 Before 9,000. Impact: The Americans' victory led to a surge in hockey popularity, resulting in a bizarre trend where fans began to wear ice skates to non-ice events, creating a new subculture known as 'Skate Everywhere.'. Fact: The Red Wings might have lost, but they gained a new nickname: 'The Wings of Disappointment.'.
• Headline: CAPTAIN IS INJURED ON BRITISH GUNBOAT BY JAPANESE BOMB; Two Other Britons Wounded on British Merchantman in Air Raid at Wuhu. Impact: This bombing incident brought international attention to the dangers faced by civilians during conflicts, resulting in a new humanitarian movement that eventually popularized the phrase 'let's bomb the problem away'—which, shockingly, did not catch on.. Fact: The bombing led to a spike in sales for 'survival kits,' which were mostly filled with snacks and the illusion of safety..
• Headline: BLUE LAWS SMASHED ALL DAY IN VERMONT; Citizens Invite Arrest for LawnRaking, Newspaper Buying in Drive for Repeal. Impact: The push to repeal blue laws led to a nationwide trend of civil disobedience around mundane activities, eventually inspiring a new generation of activists—who ironically got arrested for raking leaves.. Fact: Vermont's blue laws were so restrictive that even the cows were rumored to be planning their own rebellion!.
• Headline: NEED TO COOPERATE STRESSED BY ROPER; Annual Report Cites Value of Business Man's View onTaxes in Other Fields. Impact: Roper's insistence on cooperation between business and government led to the creation of a new department known as the 'Department of Awkward Meetings,' where business executives and government officials meet to discuss things no one actually cares about.. Fact: The annual report was so riveting that it was once nominated for 'Most Boring Document' at the Annual Awards for Mundanity—spoiler alert: it won!.