NOVEMBER 2, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Coca-Cola Reports Higher Quarterly Profits. Impact: The profits from Coca-Cola soared, leading to the invention of the 'Coke and Smile' movement, which ultimately resulted in worldwide happiness... until the sugar crash of 2020, where everyone realized they were just hyper for a decade. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked all the Coca-Cola cans sold in a year, they would reach to the moon and back? Just kidding, but it would definitely make a dent in your living room.
• Headline: Rothermere Responds Amid Controversy. Impact: In a bizarre twist of fate, Rothermere's complaint-free approach led to the invention of the 'Whine-Free Wednesday' movement, sparking a global trend of pretending everything is perfect. Fact: Fun fact: The last time someone said 'no complaints' and actually meant it was during a dentist appointment.
• Headline: Fansteel Strikers Appeal Sit-In Penalties. Impact: The penalties against strikers led to a nationwide 'Sit-In' phenomenon, which, years later, inspired the first-ever sit-in at a coffee shop, where patrons protested against bad Wi-Fi. Fact: Striking for workers' rights has a rich history, but it often involves less coffee and more actual sitting than we’d like to admit.
• Headline: URGES CREDITORS SHARE FARM LOSS; Platform of Saskatchewan Conservatives Offers Plan for Adverse Crop Years. Impact: This plan was the catalyst for the Great Canadian Crop Conspiracy, where farmers formed secret societies to barter their crops for... well, more crops. Because who needs cash?. Fact: Saskatchewan farmers once tried to grow crops that could survive on compliments alone. Spoiler alert: it didn't work out.
• Headline: Child Falls in Creek, Drowns. Impact: This tragic event led to the establishment of stricter safety guidelines around waterways, which later inspired a series of educational programs that have saved countless lives over the decades. Fact: Water safety has become such a big deal that some kids now take swimming lessons before they can walk. It's the new rite of passage.
• Headline: MRS. REED FIGHTS UNION; Nell Donnelly Dress Firm Seeks to Prevent Picketing. Impact: Mrs. Reed's battle against the union sparked a nationwide debate about labor rights, leading to the creation of the 'Dress Code Revolution' where workers demanded more than just fabric choices. Fact: The only thing worse than picketing is picketing in a dress that looks good but feels like a prison sentence. Talk about a fashion faux pas!.
• Headline: Marks Was Not on Parole. Impact: The confusion around Marks' parole status led to an entire reality TV show dedicated to 'Misunderstood Criminals,' which somehow became a cultural phenomenon. Who knew crime could be so entertaining?. Fact: The parole board's decisions are so mysterious, they could rival the plot twists of a daytime soap opera.
• Headline: CORRIGAN OPTIMISTIC OVER BOUNDARY ROW; United States Delegate Praises Nicaragua and Honduras for Agreeing to Arbitrate. Impact: Corrigan’s optimism set off a chain reaction that led to decades of diplomatic discussions, culminating in a reality show titled 'Boundary Negotiators: The Real World Edition.'. Fact: Diplomacy is often just a fancy word for 'let's see who can talk the longest without actually solving anything.'.
• Headline: WAGE BILL CALLED A BLOW TO FARMER; C. H. Holman Tells Milk Producers It Will Raise Living Costs and Cut Income. Impact: This wage bill was the straw that broke the camel's back, resulting in farmers forming a secret society to negotiate their own wages, eventually leading to the rise of the 'Farmers' Union of Superheroes.'. Fact: Milk producers have been known to battle for their rights, but usually with less cape-wearing and more spreadsheets.
• Headline: James Roosevelt Consults Agency Heads, Starting His New Clearing House Work. Impact: Roosevelt's consultations led to a series of awkward meetings that birthed the phrase 'too many cooks spoil the broth,' a phrase that would haunt politicians for decades. Fact: James Roosevelt was once mistaken for a waiter at a political gala, which he later claimed was the highlight of his career.