OCTOBER 23, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Wilkins Resumes Arctic Search for Missing Russians. Impact: Wilkins' search for missing Russians prompted a global frenzy for Arctic exploration. By 2035, an entire reality show franchise is launched around 'Arctic Survivor: Missing Russians Edition', leading to a spike in faux fur fashion trends.. Fact: Cleveland: where Arctic dreams begin, and flier's hangovers end..
• Headline: The Patten-Modell Collaboration. Impact: The Patten-Modell collaboration is the birthplace of countless failed inventions—think 'smart' toaster that burns your bread while sending you motivational quotes.. Fact: Patten and Modell: the dynamic duo no one asked for..
• Headline: Courses for Educators' Wives Launch. Impact: These courses led to the rise of an entire generation of women who became successful in their own right—only to eventually find themselves at dinner parties discussing why their husbands can't cook.. Fact: Apparently, being a drag on your husband's career is a recognized skill now..
• Headline: HEALTH INSURANCE URGED BY HODSON; He Lists Old Age, Sickness and Widowhood Among Perils to Social Security. Impact: Hodson's push for health insurance for the perils of life led to the creation of a special insurance category for existential crises—coverage for 'what am I even doing with my life?' included.. Fact: Old age, sickness, and widowhood: the trifecta of 'Oops, I did it again!'.
• Headline: WOMEN AS JURORS PRAISED BY JUDGE; Clark Holds Them Superior to Men, Less Cynical,' More High-Minded. Impact: Judge Clark's praise for women jurors sparked an avalanche of women joining the legal profession, ultimately leading to the groundbreaking 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit' where women are the stars, and men are just there for comic relief.. Fact: Men? Cynical? What a groundbreaking revelation!.
• Headline: New 40,000Ton Liner To Be Named Mauretania. Impact: The naming of the Mauretania inspired a series of increasingly ridiculous ship names, culminating in the launch of 'The Unsinkable Bubble' in 2040, which floated for exactly one minute.. Fact: Mauretania: because calling a ship 'Titanic II' was too on the nose..
• Headline: MANY HERE DRAW HORSES IN SWEEPS; 229 in City Area Get the Good News-Boy Facing Blindness Draws the Favorite. Impact: The Irish Hosp Sweepstakes created a new era of gambling where even the most mundane horse became a celebrity, leading to a documentary series on 'The Life of a Sweepstakes Horse: From Stall to Stardom.'. Fact: 229 lucky souls: the original influencers of the horse racing world..
• Headline: Zorn Etching Brings $700. Impact: Zorn's etching selling for $700 marked the moment art became a ridiculous investment scheme, leading to the modern-day equivalent of buying a slice of toast with a celebrity's face on it.. Fact: Art: the only place where scribbles can be worth more than your college tuition..
• Headline: ASSOCIATES ATTEND WARBURG FUNERAL; Leaders in Finance, Politics and Religion Present at Rites at Temple Emanu-EI. Impact: The Warburg funeral became a blueprint for modern celebrity funerals, where attendees compete to outdo each other with extravagant tributes, setting the stage for future 'funeral influencers'.. Fact: Funerals: the original networking events, minus the snacks..