OCTOBER 5, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yale Unveils Walpole Correspondence Volumes. Impact: If only the Walpole correspondence had been classified, we might have avoided a century of literary pretension. Imagine a world where people stopped quoting dead authors at parties—what a utopia!. Fact: Did you know that Walpole was so obsessed with letters that he once penned a whole book on them? Talk about being a bit too attached to your mailbox!.
• Headline: Japanese Prince Defends Actions in China. Impact: This visit would spark a series of confused cultural exchanges, leading to a future where sushi is served at every American barbecue. Thanks a lot, Prince!. Fact: Did you know the Premier's son was more popular for his fashion sense than his political opinions? Who knew princely attire could overshadow imperial ambitions?.
• Headline: Shooting Links Rubin to Organized Crime. Impact: The chaotic aftermath of Rubin's shooting would trigger a crime wave that eventually leads to the founding of an underground network of unionized piers—'The Dock Workers' Mafia,' if you will.. Fact: Did you know that in the 1930s, the Teamsters were more feared than a tax audit? They really knew how to make a splash, or in this case, a sinkhole!.
• Headline: Giants Face Chance to Overcome Yanks' Power With Momentum Picked Up in Rush to Pennant; High Team Morale, Often Factor That Decides World Series, National Leaguers' Asset Beware the Under Dog Cardinals Set Example His Role Not So Important Must Stop Yanks' Attack Carefully Directs Play Terrymen, With Manager Giving Undivided Time to Directing Them, Lift 1936 Handicap. Impact: The Giants' morale boost would lead to a completely unnecessary sports psychology revolution, resulting in motivational posters that haunt office break rooms to this day.. Fact: Did you know that 'underdog' teams have an uncanny ability to bring out the worst in sports commentators? They just can’t help but be melodramatic!.
• Headline: New St. Francis Xavier Rector. Impact: The appointment of Rev V J Hart would lead to a series of awkward sermons that would inspire future rectors to take a more casual approach—think Hawaiian shirts on Easter.. Fact: Did you know rectors have been known to have more drama than soap operas? Just wait for the annual church bake sale scandal!.
• Headline: Woman Lawyer's Hat Barred in High Court. Impact: The hat incident would spark a long-standing debate about proper courtroom attire—leading to the eventual adoption of pajamas as acceptable legal wear. 'Your honor, I’m just more comfortable this way!'. Fact: Did you know that in some courts, hats were banned because judges were tired of people hiding snacks in them? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: UNDERWEAR STRIKE HELD OFF BY MAYOR; Threatened Walkout of 15,000 Awaits Talk With Employers at City Hall Today. Impact: The underwear strike would kick off a wave of labor movements that would eventually lead to a national 'Pants Optional Day'—a significant holiday for many.. Fact: Did you know that without this strike, we might still be wearing itchy wool underwear? Thank you, Mayor, for saving us from fabric disasters!.
• Headline: 'Peaches' Browning Is in Reno. Impact: Peaches' arrival in Reno would unintentionally kickstart a trend of fruit-themed names in the entertainment industry, leading to the rise of 'Banana Man' and 'Grape Lady.'. Fact: Did you know that Peaches Browning had a stage presence that could make a fruit stand feel self-conscious? Talk about a ripe performer!.
• Headline: Wilhelmina III of Influenza. Impact: Wilhelmina III's battle with influenza would lead to a new understanding of viruses, ultimately resulting in a future where people genuinely wash their hands—what a concept!. Fact: Did you know that many royals in history have battled illnesses, but only Wilhelmina III managed to turn her flu into a viral sensation? Literally!.
• Headline: The Texts of Three Speeches by the President; Grand Forks. Impact: These speeches would become the cornerstone of future political rhetoric, leading to a world where every politician feels the need to rhyme or sing their speeches. Thank you, Presidents!. Fact: Did you know that presidential speeches were once so short that the audience would often leave for lunch before they were finished? Talk about a captive audience!.