AUGUST 20, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Faculty Appointments at Queens College. Impact: This event sparked a dramatic shift in the academic hierarchy, leading to a secret society of disgruntled professors who plotted to reclaim their former glory, ultimately resulting in an underground university where students learned from the 'forgotten' faculty.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than a professor's ego is their coffee budget..
• Headline: FTC Acts Against Misbranding in 1937. Impact: This minor misbranding scandal led to the rise of an entire generation of conspiracy theorists convinced that all briefcases were actually government surveillance devices, sending countless businesspeople into existential crises.. Fact: Did you know that briefcases were originally designed to hold brief thoughts? Clearly, that went out the window..
• Headline: GIRL DIES BY GAS; Leaves Note Asking Parents Be Notified of 'Accident'. Impact: This tragic event sparked a wave of awareness about mental health, leading to the establishment of support networks that have saved countless lives, proving that even in darkness, change can emerge.. Fact: Suicide is a heavy topic, but did you know that talking about it can actually help? It's a tough conversation, but one that's worth having..
• Headline: PEACE MOVE FAILS IN BUILDING STRIKE; Only 5 Elevators Run in Big Structures as State Board Holds Futile Conference. Impact: The elevator strike led to a bizarre trend of urban dwellers embracing the stairs, resulting in an unexpected fitness boom and the rise of 'Stair Climbing Cafés' where people discuss their cardio routines over lattes.. Fact: In a world where elevators are down, your legs are the real MVPs. Prepare for a leg day you'll never forget!.
• Headline: RISE IN BUS FARES TO JERSEY FOUGHT; I.C.C. Examiner Opens Hearing on Advance by Dozen Lines Using Washington Bridge FINANCE REPORTS FILED Commuters and Real Estate Groups Dispute Companies on Claim of Losses. Impact: The bus fare hike controversy ignited a fierce rivalry between commuters and transport companies, leading to the creation of a 'Fare Reduction Coalition' that eventually took over city council meetings, making public transport the hottest reality show in town.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than bus fares are the excuses companies give for it? It's like watching a magic show, but with less pizzazz..
• Headline: Cochrane Takes Rest. Impact: Cochrane's decision to rest led to a nationwide relaxation movement, inspiring couch potatoes everywhere to formalize their status as 'rest advocates,' eventually resulting in a 'National Nap Day' that is still celebrated with gusto.. Fact: A good rest can be life-changing. Just ask any cat. They're basically the masters of taking it easy..
• Headline: FARLEY ALOOF IN ELECTION; As a Result, Eight Now Seek to Head Young Democrats. Impact: Farley's aloofness triggered a power struggle among young Democrats that led to the establishment of a 'Young Politicians' Survival of the Fittest' reality show, forever changing the landscape of political engagement.. Fact: Being aloof in politics is a classic move. It’s like saying, 'I’m here, but I don’t actually care.'.