JULY 31, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: John Michael Riebs Jr. Event. Impact: John Michael Riebs Jr. was actually the first in a long line of future Riebs who would go on to invent... absolutely nothing of note. But hey, at least they kept the name going!. Fact: Did you know that there are more people named John Michael Riebs Jr. than there are actual accomplishments attributed to them? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be funny?.
• Headline: Iowa-Wisconsin Corn Contest 1937. Impact: The epic corn competition between Iowa and Wisconsin spiraled into an annual agricultural showdown that ultimately led to the creation of the Corn Olympics, where stalks compete for the coveted 'Golden Ear' award. Fact: Did you know these towering corn stalks were actually the inspiration for a failed theme park called 'Corn World'? Yes, it’s as thrilling as it sounds!.
• Headline: SCHMIDT VICTOR AT CHESS; Triumphs in Field of Eight in Estonian Tournament. Impact: Schmidt's chess victory led to an unexpected global shortage of chessboards, causing many to take up checkers instead, which ultimately resulted in the rise of the 'Checkers Revolution' of the late 20th century. Fact: Did you know that chess was once banned in a small town because it was deemed too intellectual? Guess they preferred their checkers, which demand a much lower IQ!.
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: Ed's insightful bee-stinging methods would eventually inspire an entire generation of beekeepers who thought they could handle the hive without proper gear, leading to a spike in honey-related injuries. Fact: Did you know that bees communicate by dancing? Too bad they can’t teach us how to do the cha-cha while avoiding stings!.
• Headline: Tremaine to Stay on Job. Impact: Tremaine's refusal to be the Democratic candidate prompted a spontaneous nationwide search for a suitable replacement, resulting in a reality TV show called 'Who Wants to Be a Candidate?'. Fact: Did you know that most people refuse to be political candidates for a reason? It’s called self-preservation!.
• Headline: PRINTERS FOR LA GUARDIA; Albany Convention Endorses His 'Pro-Labor' Activities. Impact: La Guardia's endorsement set off a chain reaction of 'pro-labor' movements that eventually led to a nationwide obsession with unionized knitting circles, because nothing says labor rights like cozy sweaters. Fact: Did you know that La Guardia was known for his strong pro-labor stance, which was way cooler than anything I’ve ever done? Just saying!.
• Headline: PRESIDENT SIGNS NAVY BILL; Request for Funds to Construct Six Auxiliaries Is Expected. Impact: The signing of the Navy bill triggered an unexpected naval arms race, where countries began competing over who could build the tallest submarines. Spoiler: no one won. Fact: Did you know that auxiliary ships are like the sidekicks of the naval world? Always there, but rarely get the glory – kind of like the Robin to the Batman of battleships!.
• Headline: ARTHUR ROGERS BOYDEN; Feature Writer Formerly Editor and War Correspondent. Impact: Arthur Rogers Boyden's fame as a feature writer led to the creation of a self-help book titled 'How to Feature Your Way to Fame', which was a bestseller among aspiring journalists but contained zero useful advice. Fact: Did you know that once you become a feature writer, you're legally required to have at least three puns in every article? It's in the fine print!.