JULY 14, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Schmeling's Tax Trouble in 1937. Impact: If only Schmeling had paid his taxes on time, perhaps he wouldn't have inspired a generation of fighters to sneak under the radar of the IRS. 'Tax evasion' became a battle strategy for those who couldn't afford to lose more than they already did.. Fact: Did you know that the IRS has a special team dedicated to tracking down famous tax evaders? They could probably write a bestseller titled 'Fighter's Guide to Not Paying Taxes.'.
• Headline: Legislators Tour Fair and Beach. Impact: The assemblymen's tour of the World's Fair site convinced them that they were now experts in architecture, leading to a series of questionable design choices in public buildings that still haunt us today. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Fun fact: Touring important sites is a great way for politicians to avoid actually working. It's like a 'business trip' without the business!.
• Headline: Loyalist Assaults on Villages Near Madrid. Impact: The wrecking of villages by Loyalist guns in Madrid set the stage for future conflict resolution strategies, which mostly involved avoiding resolution altogether. Who needs peace when you can have chaos?. Fact: Did you know that the Spanish Civil War was essentially a precursor to every modern-day debate on social media? Lots of noise, little resolution..
• Headline: THRONECHALLENGERFINED; ' Anthony Tudor' Arrested for Selling [pound]1 'Currency' for Penny. Impact: Anthony Tudor's fine for selling fake currency paved the way for countless underground economies and shady deals, inspiring future generations to get creative with their finances. Who needs real money anyway?. Fact: Did you know that selling fake currency is still illegal? But hey, creativity counts for something, right?.
• Headline: Moses Rests After Operation. Impact: Moses's operation, while a personal affair, sparked a medical revolution in sports injuries, leading future athletes to believe that surgery was just a minor inconvenience on the road to glory. Spoiler: It's not.. Fact: Fun fact: Moses was known for parting seas, but post-surgery, he probably just wanted to part with the painkillers..
• Headline: Window Cleaner Killed. Impact: The tragic death of window cleaner Kupiak sparked a renewed interest in workplace safety, leading to the invention of harnesses and other safety gear. Thank you, Kupiak, for your sacrifice; we now have hard hats.. Fact: Did you know that window cleaning is considered one of the most dangerous jobs? And yet, here we are, still ignoring the dangers of a 'clean' view..
• Headline: NAZIS AID OLYMPICS FUND; Workers to Contribute to Sum for Journey to Tokyo. Impact: The Nazis aiding the Olympics fund not only helped them gain favor with the public but also led to the bizarre phenomenon of athletes having to navigate politics while trying to win gold. Thanks for the added pressure, guys!. Fact: Did you know that the Olympics are often embroiled in scandals, but this one was particularly egregious? Nothing says 'sportsmanship' like a side of fascism..
• Headline: SKIRMISHES OCCUR; Chnnese Troops Force 400 Japanese Back in Clash Near City. Impact: The skirmishes between Chinese and Japanese troops near Peiping foreshadowed decades of conflict in the region, contributing to a long history of political tension. Good job, everyone!. Fact: Did you know that conflict over territory is still a hot topic? It's like the world's least productive game of 'musical chairs'—everyone's just waiting for someone to get up..
• Headline: BEMELMANS PLANS NEW 'BEST - SELLER'; Back From Ecuador, He Says It Will Be Dilettante Guide to Jungle Exploration. Impact: Bemelmans's plans for a dilettante guide to jungle exploration inadvertently inspired a whole genre of terrible travel writing, leading countless readers to think they, too, could be 'explorers' from the comfort of their couch.. Fact: Did you know that 'dilettante' is just a fancy word for 'I have no idea what I'm doing but I look good trying'?.