JULY 6, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Strong Backing for Hastings in 1937. Impact: Hastings' strong backing led to a series of unfortunate events where every politician henceforth had to have a 'Hastings' in their corner. Ironically, this meant stuffing ballots with imaginary friends.. Fact: Did you know Hastings was once just a name for a particularly enthusiastic backing dancer? Now it's a political strategy!.
• Headline: Iroquois Peace Plan Advocated by Davis. Impact: Davis' peace plan inspired countless future diplomats, who then promptly ignored it. Thanks to this conclave, every world leader since has tried to imitate an Iroquois chief but ended up looking like a confused tourist.. Fact: Fun fact: The Iroquois Confederacy was so ahead of its time, they probably would've nailed Zoom calls if they had the technology..
• Headline: Bananas Instead of Royalty. Impact: Converting ships to banana freighters sparked a banana craze that led to the first-ever fruit-themed royal family. Who knew bananas could have such an impact on monarchy?. Fact: Did you know that bananas are technically berries? So, this event was the beginning of a very fruity revolution!.
• Headline: HUTCHINS AIDS ST. JOHN'S; Chicago University Head Joins Board of Maryland College. Impact: Hutchins joining St. John's College sparked a trend where university heads became board members, leading to the infamous 'Board Room of Misfits' that still haunts the academic world today.. Fact: Did you know that joining a board is like being elected for a reality show, except the prize is just more paperwork?.
• Headline: BANK OUTLOOK GOOD AS HALF-YEAR ENDS; Prospects, Following Contradictory Developments Since Jan. 1, Depend on Business GAINS IN 6 MONTHS CITED Include Elimination of Boom Fears, Deflation of Bond Prices--Currencies in Doubt Fears of Inflationary Boom Drop in Bank Credit Gold Imports Large. Impact: The bank's outlook being good led to a false sense of security, causing people to invest in 'sure bets' like pet rocks and beanie babies. The economy has never been the same since.. Fact: Did you know 'bank outlook' is code for 'we're all just winging it'? Welcome to finance!.
• Headline: HITLER REJECTS PLEA FOR AUSTRIAN ACCORD; Special Envoy From Vienna Is Spurned--Schuschnigg Goes to Italy With His Son. Impact: Hitler's rejection of the Austrian accord created a butterfly effect that ultimately led to decades of awkward family reunions in Vienna—mostly because nobody could agree on who was paying for dinner.. Fact: Fun fact: This rejection further solidified the idea that diplomacy sometimes feels like dating, with a lot of 'it's not you, it's me' moments..
• Headline: Champion Safe Driver Now Has a Competitor. Impact: The arrival of a new safe driving champion spurred an arms race of bizarre competitions. Soon, we had 'Extreme Safe Driving' where competitors wore helmets while driving 10 mph.. Fact: Did you know that in some places, driving safely is still seen as a revolutionary act? Safety first, thrill-seekers!.
• Headline: Backs Women Concealing Age. Impact: Backing women concealing their age led to a tidal wave of anti-aging products, which ironically made them look older due to the sheer amount of makeup. Thanks, Republicans!. Fact: Did you know that 'age concealment' was just code for 'we don’t discuss how many birthdays have been celebrated'?.
• Headline: Join Hunter Summer Staff. Impact: Joining the Hunter College faculty led to an influx of professors who believed they were just one lecture away from winning a Nobel Prize, causing a rise in caffeine consumption.. Fact: Did you know that academia is basically just a giant game of 'who can sound the smartest while saying the least'?.
• Headline: LEWIS-ROOSEVEL T BREAK IS HINTED; C.I.O. SEES LET-DOWN; UNION TOO 'SPEEDY' It Also Is Taking In Too Much Territory, Some at Capital Feel CABINET REMARKS CITED Roper and Perkins Views Are Taken by Labor to Mean 'Scuttling' of Drive ROBINSON TEST EXPECTED C. I. O., Opposing Him for Bench, May Open Attack by Effort to Link Him to Utilities Day's Labor Developments Roosevelt-Lewis Break Seen Miss Perkins's Actions Cited Washington saw a possibility of a break between the administration and John L. Lewis over the C. I. O.'s militant policies. Page 1. Secretary Roper, in an appeal for industrial peace, said the public will not tolerate extremists on either side. Page 6. Troops were on hand at Cleveland to keep peace as Republic Steel prepared to reopen four struck plants. Page 1. Johnstown officials believed that the C. I. O. had suffered a setback in failure of the crowd at the strike mass meeting there to live up to expectations. Page 5.. Impact: The hinted break between Lewis and Roosevelt sent shockwaves through labor unions, resulting in an unending cycle of debates about who had the better hat collection.. Fact: Did you know that labor disputes are just like family arguments: everyone has an opinion, but no one really knows what they're talking about?.