JUNE 8, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: McMillin Receives Degree at Centre College. Impact: This seemingly innocuous degree ceremony set off a chain reaction where every subsequent graduate felt the need to announce their achievements on social media, leading to the current state of constant self-promotion and influencer culture. Thanks, McMillin!. Fact: Did you know that a degree can sometimes mean 'I spent too much time in a library' rather than 'I have valuable life skills'?.
• Headline: Alexandretta Riots Trigger Martial Law. Impact: The tensions from this riot inspired future generations to create a very complex web of geopolitical conflicts, leading to decades of misunderstandings, social media outrage, and way too many think pieces.. Fact: The term 'martial law' is actually derived from a misheard command at a dance party, where someone thought 'disco' was a martial style..
• Headline: Colonel Gorrell's Commencement Address. Impact: This event led to the rise of 'exercise' as a euphemism for mandatory, boring meetings, which has persisted to this day. If only Colonel Gorrell knew he was laying the groundwork for countless workplace eye rolls!. Fact: The word 'exercise' originally referred to physical activity, not just the mental gymnastics of pretending to care about someone's quarterly report..
• Headline: VIOLINIST'S SLAYER MAKES GUILTY PLEA; Booking Agent Who- Killed Girl in a 43d St. Studio Faces 20 Years to Life. Impact: This case shocked the music world and led to increased scrutiny on booking agents everywhere, ensuring that anyone with a violin now has to pass a background check. Because, you know, musical talent equals criminal intent.. Fact: Violinists have one of the highest rates of being asked to play at inappropriate times. This case only made it worse..
• Headline: Insurance Fund Bill Passed. Impact: This bill was the catalyst for countless insurance agents to start using the phrase 'Don't worry, you're covered!' which has since become synonymous with denial of benefits.. Fact: Insurance policies are like gym memberships; you pay a lot and hope you never have to use them, but deep down, you know you're just wasting money..
• Headline: Need Fear No Strikers, Judge Tells Receivers. Impact: This judge's ruling ignited a wave of confidence among receivers that has allowed them to operate without fear—until they meet a real strike, at which point they might just wish they had taken a vacation instead.. Fact: Judges often feel like they are the referees in a game where the players are just as confused as the audience. Spoiler: everyone loses..
• Headline: LONDON PROPOSES NEW PLAN ON SPAIN; Hopes to Win Back Reich and i Italy by Scheme to Consult 'With a View to Action'. Impact: This plan was the beginning of a long line of diplomatic strategies that would eventually lead to more meetings than anyone could keep track of, resulting in the catchy phrase 'Let's circle back on that!' being born.. Fact: The term 'diplomacy' comes from the ancient Greek word meaning 'to talk in circles until everyone forgets what the original problem was.'.
• Headline: Ulster Imprisons 4 Republicans. Impact: The imprisonment of these Republicans contributed to a cycle of protest and political unrest that continues to influence the region's politics today—a legacy of tension that makes reality TV seem like a casual tea party.. Fact: Ulster's political climate has been compared to a never-ending soap opera. Spoiler alert: with lots of plot twists and no satisfying resolutions..
• Headline: Would Add Two Vessels To Canada-Australia Line. Impact: This proposal led to a significant increase in trade routes, and now people can enjoy overpriced Canadian maple syrup and Australian Vegemite without leaving their couches.. Fact: Adding vessels to a shipping line is like adding toppings to a pizza—everyone has an opinion, and it always costs more than you think..
• Headline: TRUCKMAN SWEARS TO BEATING BY GANG; Driver Testifies 7 Men Invaded Office After Brother Refused to Join With Racketeers. Impact: This incident inadvertently sparked a new trend in reality TV shows, where people find themselves in absurd situations with gangsters, leading to the phrase 'Don't worry, it's just for the ratings!' becoming a common excuse.. Fact: Truck drivers have one of the highest rates of unexpected drama in their lives—who knew hauling freight could lead to such a thrilling plot twist?.